The Trickster

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: "Rebekah Sue Innis" <anakerie@mailcity.com>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 12:55:57 -0700

We all had fun with "Consulation prize" I like sending stuff around like that where
everyone can add on to it. I hope I'm not wasting anyone's time, but inspired by
Stephanie's "Short Story" I've come up with an idea for another "round robin" type
tale. Jareth decides to give all of his loyal listians anything they want, one wish
a piece (Wishes to be his queen don't count; the man would end up with a HAREM by
the end of the story.

Anakerie:

"Anything I want?" I smiled at Jareth. He smiled back a little forced, I thought.
"Anything but that, my dear. I'm not that athletic."

"Okay. I want...the idea for the best fanfic ever. You don't have to write it for
me, just give me a good story line to work with. And I want a monkey."

"One wish per person." Jareths says firmly.

"Okay, then, give me a monkey who will write the best fanfic ever so I can post it
on my page."

Jareth looks a bit pale. "Um, are you sure about that?"

I poke him in the chest. "GIVE ME MY MONKEY, goblin boy."

There is a flash and trained monkey appears at my computer, typing fiercly. Jareth
sighs. "I only hope the others have more conventional needs." He moves on to the
next house, which belongs to...

Get your FREE, private e-mail
account at http://www.mailcity.com

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (continue)
From: DebKrier <DebKrier@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 17:00:44 EST

"Wow! This couldn't have come at a better time!" I was starting to hop from
one foot to the other, as I am wont to do when a little too excited. "I want
a two-bedroom apartment in the Village in a building with a doorman and an
elevator, and the apartment should be facing south. Oh, and I want the inside
to be large, sort of like Jack Nicholson's apartment in 'As Good As It Gets.'
Actually, you can just get me that apartment..."

Jareth muttered something under his breath. I couldn't quite make it out
except for something about harems and monkeys. "What about a trip to Italy?
You could hang out on a Mediterranean beach, eat good food..." He trailed off
at my hang-dog expression. "You're not going for this, are you? Very well.
An apartment in New York it is. But what about Brooklyn Heights? The
neighborhood is much safer, you don't have to deal with rude New Jersey
shoppers on the weekends, and I promise to kill any car alarms that start to
go off at 2 o'clock in the morning."

"Brooklyn Heights!" I whined. "That's not my dream! Hey, at least I'm not
asking for a $1.5 million loft next to Bowie's...unless that would be easier
for you. I am willing to be flexible." Visions of spending the summers
sharing the rooftop pool with David and Iman began to float through my head,
but before that could go much farther, Jareth interrupted.

"Very well, that movie apartment it is. I expect a very flattering portrayal
in your next piece of fan fiction though. Very flattering." With a twist of
his wrist, the Goblin King pulled a crystal ball out of nowhere and handed it
to me. Taking the ball gingerly, I looked at it carefully, trying to figure
out how it was going to get me the apartment of my dreams. I don't think
Manhattan brokers accept Goblin Kings as guarantors--I mean, the Underground
is even more financially iffy than Florida and California combined. By the
time I looked up to ask him about it, Jareth was already gone.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: newkirk4@juno.com (Tricia McMillan)
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 18:18:00 -0500

Heh heh heh.... my one true wish.....

Trillian:

The Goblin King appeared in Trillian's kitchen. "It's about time
you've gotten to me, Fairy Boy. Now then, I believe you've come for some
underlying reason?" Trillian asked in an annoyingly sweet voice.
"You know what it is. What is your wish?"
"Well, if it isn't any trouble, do you think you could bring me U2?"
"I think that may be a bit of trouble. I would need to reorder time,
and turn the world upside down..... and do it all for you. Do you want
anything else?"
"Well..... gimme a minute. In the meantime, do you think you could do
me a favor?"
"What?" Jareth asked, in an exasperated tone of voice.
"Could you please put on that apron and vacuum the kitchen?"
"No. If that is all, I will be leaving..."
"No! I know what I want."
"And it would be......?"
"I want my very own house, complete with furnishings and all that, and
included with this must be a year's supply of peaches."
"Where do you want this house to be?"
"Ireland."
There was a pause, then Jareth said, "It is done."
"Well? Take me there."
Jareth laughed. "Oh, you wanted to actually go there? Sorry, you'll
just have to wait until the next time I give everyone a wish. One wish
per person, you know." and he then disappeared.

Next wisher......

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (continue)
From: "IrishCreme (a.k.a. Ireni DeDanaan)" <tatertot@neosoft.com>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 17:26:20 -0600

I just couldn't leave my genius friend Anakerie on a limb with this
one...
========================================
"Please say you have something a little more...interesting for me?"
Jareth was resting his chin in the palm of his hand looking at me
decidedly. "A monkey for Anakerie and an apartment for Deb. Those were
easy."

"I suppose a cure for my daughter is out of the question?"

Jareth nodded. "That is a bit out of my league. I'm the Goblin King,
not God."

"Well, there are some females who see you as--"

"Let's not get into that at the moment, Creme dear. What's your wish?"

I paced my bedroom, kicking at Jareth's boots each time I pass him. I
twirled a strand of my red hair around my fingers and thought aloud.
"Hmmm...what should I wish for?"

"Not me," the Goblin King answered stoically.

"What? Are you crazy?" I glared at him defiantly, then smiled coyly.
"Besides, I'm a bit too old for you at 24 anyway."

Jareth frowned at me angrily. "Your wish...before I change my mind?"

I sat beside him on my bed. "I think I shall wish for...the Fireys for
a week."

Jareth's eyes grew to the size of lemons. "No."

I nodded and smiled devilishly. "You said anything..."

"But the Fireys? Do you realize what havoc they could reek here? Even
in just a week?"

"I could wish for you to bathe in the Bog--"

"No, that's perfectly allright," Jareth interrupted, signs of nervous
perspiration on his forehead. "The Fireys it is. But for a week only."

"Deal," I said, shaking Jareth's gloved hand.

He procured a crystal, and it began spinning dizzily in the air before
me. I was entranced in the movement, and suddenly the orb exploded in a
ball of glitter. When my vision cleared, Jareth was gone and five
Fireys stood before me, fully entact and smiling.
========================================
Oh boy! What have I started? =D

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (From my house to yours)
From: "IrishCreme (a.k.a. Ireni DeDanaan)" <tatertot@neosoft.com>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 17:50:55 -0600

The large package shook ceaselessly in my arms. "Shh," I whispered to
the box as I entered the post office. "I have no problems putting your
heads in another box and shipping it to Iraq." The box stilled and a
helpless sigh came from the box.

I approached the post office worker and set the box on the counter. She
eys me warily. "This going to Manhattan?" I nodded. She weighed the
box and looked surprised as she moved it around. "What's in here
anyway?"

"A surprise." I smile coyly. "For Deb in her new apartment."

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (continued)
From: A504030 <A504030@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 18:56:21 EST

Nova Looked out her window into the night sky. A storm was beginning, flying
in the star filled sky was a white owl. The creature flew down to the window
and perched there. In a blast of blue light the bird transformed into a very
scared Goblin King as he was about to fall of the two story roof.

"Open the window!" He yelled.

"Alright Alight!" I yelled back

I rushed to the window and hastily unlached the lockes. Still titering on the
roof I grab him buy the shirt and pull him in my room. With a loud thud both
of us land on the floor.

"Owww." I moaned. "Not one of your best enterences."

"Don't push it, I am here to grant you one wish."

"One wish? Let me think.

"I wish for two more wishes from you."

I could hear him mumblling about this being better then fireys.

"Done."

"Not yet you owe me two wishes."

"what do you want now."

"I wish to have the talent to play the guitar." pausing to think a little
longer I say my second wish.

"My last wish is for you to have a safe journey and be content."

He gave me a funny look and said.

"Done and thank you."

Only thing that bothered me now is what was with the firey deal.

"Now I can play the guitar!"
Plugged in the electric instument that I had bought about three weeks back and
began to play ........ Who's next?

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (continued again)
From: Westdragon <Westdragon@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 18:56:28 EST

"What is your dream?" Jareth held the crystal toward the girl. She started
to laugh uncontrolably. She ran down the hallway to a girl standing at an open
locker. They both looked at him and laughed. Jareth flicked his wrist and the
girls were gone.
"Hey! Tights-boy!!" Molly shouted from the end of the hallway. Jareth turned
ready to send the girl to the Bog.
She ran up to the king and gave him a huge hug! "Is it my turn for a wish?!
Hmmm?" She let go and began to unlock her locker.
"What do you wish?" Jareth began to play with the crystal impatiently.
"Hmmmm. Only one wish I know. Can you raise the dead?!!" Molly asked with a
gleam in her eye.
"Alas no." He really could but that look in her eye gave him a chill, and
he feared what she would do with the poor dead soul she raised.
"Hmmm. Okay....okay I got one!! I wish the world was one big Rocky Horror
movie!!"
This one caught the king completely off guard. "A-are you positive this is
what you want?"
"Yup. I can't wait till you decide to do this again!! Ohh! Hey wait! Not
only the whole world, but have the characters alive as themselves, not just as
the actors. And I wanna be in it! Okay?"
"As you wish." Jareth sighed. Would he ever get a normal wish out of these
people? Jareth thought a moment and then nodded.
He tossed the crystal at her. Molly caught it and when she looked up the
king was gone. *this is gonna be so cool!!* She opened her locker and checked
her hair in the mirror. She grabbed her feather duster and apron just in time
to see a line of Transylvanians go Time Warping by!

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king, revisited.
From: "Rebekah Sue Innis" <anakerie@mailcity.com>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 16:56:58 -0700

"YOU IDIOT!" I look at the screen. There is prehaps the most touching, incredbile
piece of fanfic I have ever seen. Of course, it's fanfic for "THE GOLDEN GIRLS!"

"Chi chi chi"

"I'll kill him. I'm going to feed him his little tights and make him sleep with,
with, RICHARD SIMMONS!" I howl.

"Temper, temper. You got your wish." Jareth walks out of my living room looking smug.

"YOU KNOW I WANTED LABY FANFIC!" I hiss.

"Oh, I did?"

I hurl a box of Wheaties at his head.

Jareth sighes. "I really shouldn't, but since I'm in a generous mood, I'll allow
you to add on to your wish, for a price."

"What price?"

"The day may come when I may call upon you for a favor. I hope when and if that day
comes..."

"That's the worst Brando I've ever heard, blondie. And you didn't even get the quote
right. Okay, fine, whatever. Here's my redone wish.."

"I wish, I wish, that every time you said the word "the" you would grab your crotch
and bark like McGruff the Crime Dog!"

"YOU DIRTY LITTLE...The, RUFF!!" Jareth grabs his bulge. "I'm going to kill you!"

I grin. "Jerk me around, will you, darling? Your only hope is that some kind person
uses their wish to send you back to normal."

Jareth stamps his foot and vanishes. I look at the monkey. "Well, get back to work!"
I snap. "I want to see how Blanche talks her way out of this one."

Get your FREE, private e-mail
account at http://www.mailcity.com

========
To: <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: RE: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: "Cool Cat" <lyla@montrose.net>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 17:05:29 -0700

" You are him, aren't you?" I asked as the GK stumbled through my bedroom
window.
" You know very well who I am. That window is quite an obstacle."
"You're telling *me* that?!? At least you could have flown through it. Try
climbing in and out of it. See that chair behind the lilac bush?"
" Yes."
"That is how I manage. Broke a lamp once, but I then rearranged my
furniture."
" What exactly do you want? I don't have all day to listen to you complain
about how hard it is to sneak out of your room."
"Who says I sneak out? Maybe it is for when I forget my house key."
" You are forgetting who I am."
"What do you mean?"
*clunk*
Cool Cat rubbed her head and looked to the floor to see the crystal; ball
rolling past her mirror.
" Hmm. Anyhow... does that answer your question?"
" You may be sly, but you certainly have no grace. Well, maybe you just have
bad aim."
" Be careful, Cool Cat. I am tired and I am not up to your snippiness. What,
do you want?!?"
" Trilly says that you wouldn't give her U2. Something about having to
reorder time."
"That is correct."
Jareth began to get impatient and the clacking of his boot toes could be
heard from the wooden floor.
" Okay. My doesn't *have* to reorder time."
" How kind of you."
" I like to think so."
" Come on."
" Testy, aren't we? GK need a nap?"
" Don't be cheeky." Jareth lifted an eyebrow and Cool Cat decided to be more
friendly.
" I want a library filled with every book, article, and movie ever made. I
would like it to be updated *every* minute of the day."
" Not a problem."
The crystal ball that had been resting on the floor rolled up Jareth's leg
and now sat in his hand."
He looked at it for a moment and and grinned slyly.
"What was that look for?"
" You *really* should learn to be careful what you wish for."
" Why do you say that oh hair boy?"
Jareth began to laugh with a sound that came from the depths of...his belly.
With that, he was gone.
To be continued...

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king, revisited.
From: NytAngel98 <NytAngel98@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 20:28:36 EST

As Jareth storms in through her window and lands on her bed, which is right
under the windows, grumbling and cursing about having to do the barking and
grabbing every time he says "the," she looks up from her computer screen and
onto the bed.
"Well well now, a little forward, aren't we? You're old enough to be my
father," Angel says with a smirk.
"Shut up. It's her fault, you know. She made the--"
Jareth stopped, grabbed, and barked, then looked hopefully at her.
"Come on Angel, you wouldn't let me go through forever like this, would you?"
Angel grins slightly and starts singing "It's only forever...not long at
all...," but stops at seeing Jareth pouting.
"Okay, okay, yeesh, I'll make my wish...but first, keep that pout look going,
I have to get a picture," she smirks again. "You look so cute when you pout.
The other listians are sure to get a kick out of this when I scan it."
Angel leaves the pouting Jareth to run into the other room and grab her
camera. She comes back and, with a huge smile on her face, snaps a few shots
of Jareth. Setting the camera down, she walks over to him and leans on a
bedpost.
"Now...I'm gonna steal a bit off another listian. Can't have YOU hogging all
the profit, can I? I wish for two more wishes."
"But how can you? The--"
Jareth does the barking thing again and winces, then sighs slightly, giving
in.
"All right, all right. What are your two wishes?"
Angel grins wildly. "First, I wish for the same sort of power you have to be
at my disposal whenever I want it and to be able to do all the things you can
do EXCEPT for the McGruff thing and all that male stuff that you males do, and
I want to know how to use every last bit of it and I don't want you cheating
me in any way in this wish because I know you want to and if you've cheated me
in any way I wish that you take back my third wish which will be for you to
not have to do the McGruff thing, got it?"
Angel takes a deep breath and apologizes for the run-on sentence.
"Are you sure you want this? I mean, most girls your age want a boyfriend or
the perfect hairstyle and makeup, or--" Jareth pleaded.
"I don't give a damn about boys my age, makeup, or hair though I do take care
of mine, Goblin King. I want power and you're going to give it to me or you
live the rest of your life never saying "the" again," Angel frowns.
Sighing, Jareth complies. "Very well."
Angel gets a complete makeover into Jarethian badguy clothes and gets cool-
looking makeup and hair and a multitude of crystals at her disposal. She does
some twirling tricks with them, smiling happily.
"Cool!" she yells out happily. "Thanks!"
Jareth only sighs and looks pleadingly at her to make her third wish.
"Oh yea, that. I now wish that you don't have to do the McGruff-crotch-
grabbing thing at any point in your existence unless you really want to.
Better?"
Jareth grants the third wish and sighs deeply in relief, then stands and
prepares to fly out Angel's window again.
"WAIT! Don't fly out yet, I want to ask you something."
"What is it now, Angel?"
"If you ever get tired of being the Goblin King, can I have your job? I've
got the powers already, right?"
Jareth shrugged. "Oh hell, I can't see why not. But you're going to have to
share with the Goblin Prince."
"Humph. Oh well, okay, I can live with that, we can go on half-year
rulerships or something. Have a safe trip Jareth."
"Thank you."
Jareth transforms into an owl and flies out her window again. Angel sits back
down at her computer and continues typing her friend an IM, smiling happily
with her new powers (and wardrobe).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. My meager attempt at something
remotely resembling fanfic that I hope I was allowed to contribute to.

*Angel of Labyrinthine Night*

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (continue)
From: "Anna M. Caggiano" <annamc@ix.netcom.com>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 18:53:10 -0700

This is my first attempt at anything resembling fanfic. But after
reading Rebekah's intro the idea just popped into my head and wouldn't
go away, so I finally ended up writing it down. However, after
completing a rough draft I read Trillian's installment and noticed that
there are some distinct similarities in our premise. But after taking
the trouble to write it I figured I'd post it anyway. =

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Why?"

I regarded the Goblin King with open suspicion. He had been there for
some moments now; long enough that we had already progressed past the
initial stammering "You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King!"
phase, long enough that I had already ascertained, through some
judicious poking and prodding, that he was not merely a
sugar-caffeine-and-fanfic-induced hallucination, although I vaguely felt
that it would be far less troublesome to my notions of reality if that
was indeed all he had turned out to be. Insanity I could grasp. =

Fantasy was something else altogether.

Leaning against the wall in an elegant, effortless symmetry, arms
folded, illuminated only by the soft glow cast by my computer, the
Goblin King watched me watching him with an equally open amusement
apparent in the gleam of his mismatched eyes. Shaking his head gently,
causing random wisps of blond hair to sway softly in all directions, he
clucked his tongue in mock consternation. "Really now. Here I have
swooped in out of nowhere through your open window, materialized to
offer you your fondest wish, your wildest dream, and all you can think
of to say in response is =91why'?" He chuckled softly. "You know, child=
,
I always did entertain the notion that you were the least imaginative of
the Listians. So cynical for one so young."

Stung by the slight, I narrowed my eyes at him. His charm was wearing
thin surprisingly quickly. The very qualities which had made him so
irresistible onscreen were astonishingly irritating in person -- he knew
just how to push all the wrong buttons, and appeared to derive the
greatest pleasure from doing so. "Not quite. Just the most practical,
the most skeptical. And don't you dare condescend to me as a "child"!
I'm 27, for God's sake. According to the average age on this list, that
practically qualifies me for Social Security. Now you say you're
offering me my dreams? Well --"

He interrupted me with a graceful, upraised gesture of his arm. "Ah,
that's "dream," the singular form. One wish. Let's not get greedy,
shall we? And if we're such an adult, what are we doing watching what
is obviously intended to be a children's film, then, hmm?"

"All right, then, fine, dreamMMMM," I snapped, emphasizing the singular
ending, and ignoring his taunt. "That's very nice of you, but I know
enough to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when it comes
prancing in from Fantasyland. I've read "The Monkey's Paw," I've seen
the movie "Bedazzled" where Peter Cook plays the Devil and keeps turning
Dudley Moore's wishes against him, I've heard of that fairy tale where
the peasant man ends up accidentally wishing his nose would turn into a
sausage -- or something along those lines." His smug smile was
maddening, making it almost impossible to keep my cool, to speak and
reason clearly. I took a deep breath. "So what I'm asking is, what's
the catch? What's behind this uncharacteristic fit of generosity? =

You're not exactly the boy scout some of these fanfics paint you as, you
know. You're a trickster, through and through."

He shrugged, widening his eyes and spreading his palms in a pose of
innocence which failed utterly. "Who, me?" He grinned wickedly. =

"Now, as much as I am enjoying our little chat, I do have rather a lot
of other Listians to visit tonight, you know. Luckily most of you have
no lives and keep more insane hours than a barn owl. There's a
surprising quantity of you; one would think that the movie would have
been more of a financial success." He suddenly moved forward in one
fluid motion, placing both hands upon the computer table on either side
of me, leaning in close to place his face inches from mine. I shrank
back uncomfortably in my seat, flushing, unable to meet his gaze. This
close, his charisma was utterly overwhelming. He spoke in a gentle,
measured tone, barely above a whisper. "Now, my patience is wearing
thin. I dislike being questioned and doubted. I do not offer you a
reason, child, only a wish. Do you want it?"

I forced myself to look up, eyeing him warily. "Of course I do. But
--"

He cut the words short by placing a gloved finger to my lips. Then he
brought his other hand into my line of vision, allowing me to see a
crystal resting upon his fingertips in a gravity-defying balancing act,
tantalizingly close. "No =91buts.' What is your wish? The clock is
running short, child, and I want an answer NOW." He smirked as he said
the last, removing his finger from my lips to point at the clock on the
wall, which had somehow metamorphosed from a perfectly innocuous
timepiece into one which read 1 minute to 13 o'clock.

My mind whirled. I hated being rushed, pushed. I tried desperately to
think for a moment. So many things I wished for. So many things I
feared might arise from the wishing, thanks to his deranged sense of
humor. I had to think for a minute --

He shattered my thoughts yet again. "Come on, then, what will it be? =

Of course, I know that what you really want is me, but I'm afraid that's
not an option, child, as Rebekah said." He began to play with the
crystal, sending it rolling over his fingertips, up his arms, between
his palms.

This cockiness was the absolute last straw. "Want you? That's an
awfully damn big assumption to make, now, isn't it? And for the last
time, I am not a child!! I really wish you would just stop calling me
that!"

No sooner had the words left my mouth than a supremely wicked grin
spread across his face. With a deep, theatrical, sweeping bow, he
intoned "Your wish is my command, my dear." Then he looked up, his eyes
dancing as he savored my expression of shocked horror, born of the
realization that I had fallen prey perfectly to his manipulations. With
a diabolical chuckle, he tossed the crystal high into the air, where it
disappeared in a shower of glitter. In an instant, so did he. =

"NO!!!!" I ran through the glitter cloud to the open window, coughing
and swatting at the sparkly specks that swarmed like gnats around me. =

"WAIT! THAT WASN'T MY WISH! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!"

And through the night, I heard a soft swooshing sound that might have
been an owl's wings, and an echo of a voice so low it might have been
the wind.

"What's said is said . . . such a pity. . . ."

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king, revisited.
From: sma25@juno.com (Stephanie M Albright)
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 20:30:58 -0600

Please be kind. If you have to snicker, please don't let it be about the
wish, and please let it be quiet.

"Well?" Jareth asked Foxglove, paciently.

"Well what?"

"What is your wish?" It was apparent that he was loosing the pacience
quickly.

"I don't know. There is nothing I really want." Jareth rolled his eyes.
Foxglove sat on the edge of the computer chair, and thought.

"Come on, come on. I havn't got all night!!!! There are others to
visit!"

"Fine!" I yelled. "I wish you would come back and grant me another wish
later tonight!"

Jareth sighed. "Done." He produced a crystal and it started spinning,
but only for a short while. Then it dissapeared.

Jareth muttered about needing a rule for wishing for more wishes and he
then dissapeared.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king, revisited.
From: Jaster <jadmad@alaska.net>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 17:58:34 -0900

Jareth appeared behind me as I was on the computer. He looked quite stressed
out and disturbed.

"Ohmigod. Jareth?" I asked.

"Yes" He gruffed. "I've come to grant you a wish. What do you want?"

"A wish, huh?" I repeated. I glanced around and smiled. He rubbed his
temples briefly.

"Could you please hurry?" Jareth said impatiently.

"Okay. I wish I lived in your castle with you. I could give you a massage.
You look like you could use one" I replied. He glared at me.

"In MY castle?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, it must get boring with only goblins there. Plus, I don't need much
and I'm pretty clean" I replied with a smile. "Please Jareth?"

He nodded and produced a crystal. It spun and I was suddenly in the castle.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king, revisited.
From: Elena Keane <elena_keane@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Mar 1998 20:55:17 -0800 (PST)

Hi everyone!! As I perused 33 Laby emails, a good majority on this
very thread, I decided to take time out from writing up Gods only know
how many other fanfics to join in briefly. . .enjoy a peek into the
insane world of the mind of Elena Keane. . .

I crouched over my computer, sweating over yet another fanfic. "Why
did I ever agree to this?" I muttered, too low for anyone else in the
house to hear me. Last thing I needed was anyone interrupting my
writing cycle. "Just need to get one more finished tonight. . .then I
can rest until tomorrow. .sleep. . .I remember sleep. . .vaguely. .."

Suddenly the window slammed up and a white owl was hovering over the
bad. Without even pausing to think, I snapped, "All right, Jareth, if
you do ANYTHING nasty on that bed, I've got owl-wings on the menu, got
it????"

A second later, the Goblin King, in human form, was sitting on the
unmade bed. He looked at me a trifle quizzicly. "How did you know it
was me? And aren't you at least startled?"

I looked over at him. "Jareth, you spend half as much time as I do
writing up a TENTH of the things I do, you're not going to be startled
at anything. Besides, what OTHER white owl would fly into my window,
especially tonight?"

I could tell he was totally lost, and gestured to my computer, where
he could see the listing for my Labyrinth e-mail. His handsome jaw
dropped in shock to see so many things entitled "Re: When you wish
upon a goblin king, revisited.". I chuckled a little, and looked him
up and down. "So, I guess it's my turn to get a wish. . ."

"Um, yes," his hand reached out for the mouse, apparently going to
see just what was said about any previous wishes he'd granted. As I
slapped him lightly, he glared at me a little.

"My mouse," I told him. "You want comp time, we talk money. Other
than that, let's get to the business of wishes."

"What do you want?" he asked curtly. I leaned back in my rolling
chair, scarred by a thousand scratches from an eager cat, and thought
deeply for several minutes. I could tell he was getting impatient,
and had to protect my computer at any cost. . .

At last, I made my decision. "I wish I had the inspiration, and the
uninterrupted time, to finish all these fanfics here," I showed him
the list of non-Labyrinth fics I was bound to do, "by March 15. Then I
can get back to work on 'The Eternal Star'."

It cheered me a little to see him perk up at that, could it be the
Goblin King actually read, and, *gasp* LIKED my little fic? I sat up
a little straighter as he waved his hand. "So you have wished, so
shall it be granted!"

As he waved his hand, I felt myself, and my computer under my hands
fade away. The next thing I was aware of, I was in a cold,
featureless gray area. . .

"Jareth!! What have you done? Where am I?"

His voice came ghosting through here. .there. .wherever. .."you are in
Limbo. ..there is no time here, so you will have ALL the time in the
universe to complete those nasty non-Labyrinth fic. . .and The Eternal
Star too. . .farewell. .."

I glanced around a little. "Well, this isn't so bad," I thought. I
turned to my computer, preparing to get settled into writing, when I
realized. ..there was no power supply. .."JARETH!!!!"

Only mocking, fading laughter answered me. ..

________________

NEXT Wisher please! :)

Elena
_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com

========
To: "Labyrinth List" <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king
From: "Fritch" <fritchka@fast.net>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 00:21:29 -0500

Ohhhhh, my turn! For those who haven't seen The Prophecy, Christopher
Walken has this really cool shhh power. I saw it and had to have it.

"Tee-hee!"
Jareth froze and glanced about the darkened room before slowly trying
to make his escape.
"And where do you think you're going?" Came the immediate question.
The goblin king turned and tried to run from the room but was tackled
three feet from the window. He muttered in embarrassment as he caught
sight of himself in a nearby mirror. His hair was disheveled and his
shirt was being to wrinkle. The blonde sitting pertly on his back,
however, seemed oblivious to his troubles. He sighed and raised his
hand to his check and rested his head. "I take it you knew I was
coming."
Delilah nodded enthusiastically. "Read the e-mails."
He snorted. "However did you get through them all?"
Delilah shrugged and picked up a conveniently placed remote control.
"I had a class in speed reading." She flicked the television on and
pushed play. There was a few clicks emitted from the aging VCR before
the screen was filled by a warning from the FBI.
"So?" Jareth asked wanting to get up and leave.
Delilah busily fast forwarded through a slew of promotions. "So what?"
She asked absently.
The downed man sighed in disgust. "So what do you want?"
A movie started but Jareth was unable to make out the title for
Delilah suddenly flatted his hair into his eyes as she shifted into a
more comfortable position. "Oh, well first I want two more wishes."
"Why did I see that coming?" Was the sarcastic reply.
"Hush and watch, glitter boy." She started the tape at normal speed
and Jareth watched as a dark haired man spoke to a clerk at a dry
cleaners. After a few questions the dark haired man raised his hand to
the clerk's head and whispered "shhh.". The clerk fell unconscious to
the ground. Delilah stopped the tape and glanced down at the confused
goblin king expectantly. "Well?"
"Well what?" Jareth asked wishing she would get off his back. She was
heavier then her small frame lead to believe.
"I want the shhh power."
"The shhh power?" He asked.
"Yeah the shhh power."
Jareth rolled his eyes. "Fine. You have the shhh power. Now get off
me."
The blonde stood in one smooth motion and Jareth raced for the window
only to find it slammed shut on his face. "Now what?" He demanded.
"You haven't given me my second wish."
"And what's that?"
Delilah smiled coyly and handed him a bill. Jareth looked at the
number and gawked in surprise and horror. "I want you to pay for
college."
"But, that's not fair!" He shrieked.
Delilah shook her head. "You say that so often, I wonder what your
basis for comparison is."

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king
From: Jaster <jadmad@alaska.net>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 20:44:02 -0900

Jareth casted Delilah's wish and disappeared. He really wanted that
massage Jessie had promised. He made his way to the castle for a quick
drink of wine before continuing his trip to the Labyrinth List members.

========
To: Labyrinth fan-fiction list <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king
From: "Jennifer A. Coon" <jacoon@challenge.ott.edu>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 01:27:04 -0600

Oh, My! Hasn't this turned into a story and a half? Good job, guys...
Now it's my turn....Muhahahahaha...I can't belive I wrote this!!!

To Live, Learn, and Love,
Jen (Lady Reason)
---------------

I awoke to a slight tapping at my dorm room window. "Wha, the..." I
said, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

Quickly, I pinched the blind open to see what twig might be annoying my
slumber. "What a pain in the..." I couldn't believe my
eyes...Jareth was standing out in the cold Kansas rain, holding a
crystal and lightly tapping his finger against the glass.

I knew why he had came. I'd read it on the list. I was just hoping
that he would have came earlier. Then a thought ran through my mind. If
I let him come in, not only would my room-mate want a wish, but so would
about 100 girls after the rumor spread through the dorm hallways.

I held my finger up in the window, meaning for him to wait a minute, but
instead, he took it for a go-ahead sign. In an instant, there was a
flash in my small room and a magically dried Jareth stood next to my bed
(eat your heart out girls!)

"My, oh, my. They certainly don't give you any room, do they?" Jareth
said, eyeing the bunk-bed and casually admiring the personality of
the room. Stopping to examine my miniature sword in the stone on top of
Rita's fish tank.

"Oh, yes. I just love sharing a 9 by 12 foot room for months at a
time....Shhhh...or you'll wake my room-mate!" As if an answer to my
words, Rita snorted and turned over in the top bunk.

Jareth just eyed me as if bored, "You know why I'm here. You may have
ONE wish. I only ask that you don't wish anything similar to making
me impersonate a crime-fighting dog while grabbing myself."

Surprised, I opened my mouth, about to ask where that had come from, but
then stopped myself against it. I knew the fellow listians too well.
Smiling to myself, I instead said "Wait here..." and I slipped out into
the hall to see if anyone was there.

Once the coast was clear, I took Jareth down to the empty lounge and
than, looking rather silly, curtsied in my PJs.

"Welcome, your Majesty, to my home-semi-sweet-home."

"At last!" Jareth shouted exasperated, "Someone who shows me just a
little respect!"

"Keep up your yellin' and I'll pop ya a little respect, buddy!" I said
in my frank Kansas dialect. "I apologize, your Majesty, but there
aren't suppose to be any guys in the dorms this late. I could get in
trouble...now, let us get to business..." I slapped my hands together
and rubbed them furiously.

"I knew it was too good to be true..." Jareth mumbled under his breath.
"So, what is your wish? Make it quick. There are over a hundred
listians and I haven't visited even half of them tonight."

"Kinda feelin' like Santa Claus, huh? Well, at least you're cuter." I
said, circling around behind him and pinching his butt through those
nice tights. *g*

The Goblin King jumped and circled on me, now not letting me out of his
sight. "Stop that and get to it, you little twirp!"

"Naughty, Goblin King!" I said shaking my finger at him, "No insulting
the listian!"

"Get over it...and get to your wish."

"Okey, Okey! Why Sarah didn't take you up on your offer, I'll never
understand...Anyway, let me see..." I eyed him and rubbed my nose
thoughtfully.

"No, not that. You know the rules..."

"Yes, I know. But a girl can dream, can't she? For being so powerful,
you certainly have a lot of limitations..."

"I do not have limitations...especially not in that area! Now...make
your wish, Reason!

"Oh, yes! Well, I wish..."

"Yes...?"

"I wish that I was the only female on a cruse ship with every leading
male actor in Hollywood, obeying my every beck and call. You know,
Sean Connery, Patrick Swayze, Mel Gibson with long hair and a kilt as he
looked in 'Braveheart'. Okey, I know it's so superficial, but hey!
Sky's the limit if you ever get to have your dream to come true, right?"

With a total sigh, Jareth waved his hand and I found myself standing in
front of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Having a drink at the bar was Sean and giving dance lessons on the
planks was Patrick. I loved it!

"Hello..." I said a bit shyly to Leonardo.

"Hello, Reason. Welcome to the SS Titanic."

"Ah, Sh**..." I said.
-------
Well, at least I get to go down with some of the most handsome guys in
the world!*G*

--
Jennifer A. Coon
mailto:jacoon@mail.ott.edu

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: To Wish Upon A Goblin King
From: PaleJewel1 <PaleJewel1@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 02:29:24 EST

Pale Jewel sat hunched over her notes and textbooks. A single light glared
over the desk, the rest of the room was shrouded in darkness. Two dogs lay
curled up asleep on the chair, the little one on top of the larger one. The
sound of a pen marching across paper could be heard in the silent room.

The silence was broken by the two dogs, who, having sensed a presence, were
intent on warning their mistress of impending danger. Pale Jewel looked in
the general direction of the dogs' attention, peering into the darkness.

"What are those fur covered creatures on your chair?" Came a condescending
voice. "Stop!" came a command from the voice. At once, both dogs were
silent, although still clearly uneasy. "Away with you then!" and with that
both of her beloved animals vanished.

"What have you done with them?" Pale Jewel asked the Goblin King. He moved
further into the room, and she was able to see his face more clearly. He was
dressed all in black, covered with a high-collared cloak. His hair was
shockingly blond, and wispy. And his derisive smile was as beguiling as ever.

"You know very well where they are." Jareth told her.

"Look, Jareth, I don't have time for this. I didn't ask for them to be taken,
you had no right...." she began.

"Oh just stop. I'll bring them back when we've finished conducting our
business." he told her.

"What business? I haven't called to you." Pale Jewel asked suspiciously.

"The little business of granting wishes. I'm here to grant you a wish.
Haven't you been reading the posts to the list?" He asked.

Pale Jewel looked down in confusion. Her eyes were dull and tired, and her
shoulders and neck ached from bending over the desk.

"No, I, uh, I'm in the middle of final exams right now. I haven't had time to
sign on..." she began.

"Come, come now, Pale Jewel, I'm surprised at you losing your head over some
dry school material. Where's your spark, your imagination? What happened to
that marvelous fanfic you were writing?" he quizzed her, "Such a pity" he
finished.

"Look, Jareth, there is more to life than fantasy. Right now I'm firmly
placed in reality and I have to study, or I won't do well on the exams. Can't
we do this later?" She asked him.

"Sorry, this is a one-time offer. Take advantage of it while you can." he
told her.

Pale Jewel considered his words carefully. His smug countenance grated on her
very last nerve. The defensive position was getting her nowhere. Her blue
eyes darkened, and she stared him in the eye.

"Well, Jareth, what I'd really like, " she said as she advanced upon him, "is
you!"

Jareth backed up a bit as he saw the intent look on her face.

"No, you can't have me. It's the rules. You can't wish for me." He stammered.

Pale Jewel stopped, and snickered at him.

"Well of course, you wouldn't want to grant and actual wish of mine, now would
you." she said. She turned away, and considered her next alternative. She
was having trouble thinking, her brain still cluttered with statistical
inferences and standard deviations. Damn School anyway! Always having to
choose to study rather than to have fun. Unable to let the creative juices
flow because more important facts and figures had to be memorized for exams
and such. She wished she could push it all away, and concentrate on having
fun. She wished....Pale Jewel suddenly realized what it was that she really
wanted. To have some fun, and let someone else do the work for a while. She
whirled around and faced him.

"I wish you had to take these exams for me, Jareth!" She blurted with a smile.
Jareth's face dropped, and Pale Jewel's smile of triumph broadened.

"Are you sure that's wise?" he asked her unsmilingly, his mis-matched eyes
bored into hers.

"Well, you were the one complaining that I wasn't writing anymore. So, if you
do this for me, I can concentrate on writing." she told him.

"Very well." Jareth sighed, and turned to leave.

"Hey, wait!" Pale Jewel said. She gathered up the books and notes and handed
them to Jareth.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Your study material, you dolt! You have to study to take the exams." she
told him.

"My dear Jewel, you only asked that I take the exams for you, not that I study
for them." Jareth told her.

"But if you don't study you won't know the material, and you won't get a good
grade" she told him.

"Well, you should have thought of that before you made your wish. I have
absolutely no intention of wasting my precious time on such uninspiring
material. You'll just have to make do with that." he told her with a
reptilian smile.

Pale Jewel looked at him with horror.

"You'll ruin my grade point average." she said quietly. He responded only by
backing up, and fading into the air.

"Such a pity..." whispered faintly in the air.

Both dogs re-materialized, slightly unnerved by there trip to nowhereland.

Pale Jewel stared down at the books in her hands, useless now, and felt a
sense of impending doom. Damn him! How dare he! And Damn me too for not
knowing he was coming here. If only I had time to prepare! And now he's
tricked me.

Pale Jewel considered her options, of which there were very few. She knew
there was no way to take back her wish, or get another one. Jareth had won
this round.

Or had he...

A wicked thought formed in her head.

"Well, now, with all this free time I have what should I do?" she asked
herself, already knowing the answer.

She sat down in front of her PC and opened the WordPerfect program.
Furiously, she began to type, words pouring forth like water from a pitcher.

"You thought being made to go bald was bad? You thought the "Package removal"
undiginified? You haven't seen anything yet, Jareth. When I'm done with this
fanfic, you'll wished you had never come to grant me my wish!" Pale Jewel
muttered to noone in particular.

Scenes took shape, and Pale Jewel chuckled at the thought of the crooning
Goblin King suddenly unable to do more than croak like a toad....

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you wish upon a goblin king
From: "Istra : \]" <istra3@hotmail.com>
Date: Sat, 07 Mar 1998 23:33:00 PST

Okay you guys. Don't laugh at my first public attempt at fan-fic.

Istra

I was peacefully asleep in my bed, relaxed after a long, hard night at
work. Thoughts of Labyrinth had soothed me and set me gently down in the
serene realms of dreamland. My window was partially open, admitting the
divine scents of the late night. My dreams were slightly interrupted by
a faint tapping sound. I stuffed my head far down in my pillows, hoping
it would stop soon and thinking that my sister was probably making her
usual racket in the next room. Even though the tapping kept up and
became more insistent, I kept my head stuffed far down in my pillows.
Suddenly, something knocked me exceedingly hard across the back of the
head.
"OW!" I yelped shooting up out of bed and flicking on the light to
find the source of my pain, which happened to be a crystal that was now
shattered.
"I was wondering if you were actually alive in there," a smooth, calm
voice spiced with a British accent commented. "And I had to break my
best crystal to figure that out. You'll owe me for that one." *Where
was it coming from? The very air seemed to ring with it.* I looked
frantically around, knowing that I'd heard that voice elsewhere, and
wondering what its owner could want with me.
"Oh quit gawking and open your window the rest of the way."
"You're funny."
"Am I?"
"Quite. There is no way you are coming in here when I just got out of
bed..." my voice trailed off.
"Put your clothes on then before I *accidentally* see you in my ball.
Crystal that is." I quickly complied. "So let me in now." Funny how he
said that as soon as my shorts were zipped.
"You have the power, do it yourself, lazy" I said under my breath.
"Do you want your wish or not?"
"Wish? WISH?!?! What wish?" I squealed excitedly racing to open the
window.
A white owl flew in gracefully and landed on my bed, turning into the
form of a person as it landed. Jareth, in all his blond-haired, odd-eyed
glory sat before me...on *my* bed, touching *my* sheets, in *my* room.
My mouth fell open as the realization really hit me hard that the goblin
king was in my room.
"Yes, wish. I've decided to give all the list members a wish. I must
say, though that it *is* difficult for me to give a wish to someone
who's broken my best crystal. Oh, and uh, you might want to close your
mouth now, your drool is collecting on the floor," he smirked."
I was immediately on the defensive."*I*did not break it. *You* should
not have thrown it at me and I do *not* drool!" I paused for a second to
pout. "So, you got here at two in the morning because..."
"You're certainly cocky for one who is about to receive a wish and was
*privileged* enough to receive a visit from me.
I ignored him. "As I said, you got here so late because..."
"Because I felt like it...and it takes a long time and lot of energy to
grant all these wishes. Don't provoke me right now Istra, you know how
I am when I'm angry."
"Sexy."
"Oh you are the clever one aren't you," he said drily. "Now, on to your
wish."
"I can have *anything*?" an evil glimmer came in to my eye.
"You know the rules. Not me. *Anything* else."
"Can I have a piece of cake?"
"What?"
"Just kidding. Ummm, you know. What I really want..." I sat down in my
desk chair to think, brushing Jareth's outstretched legs as I did so.
"Okay, just got it."
"Hmm?"
"I got to touch you. That's it." I grinned mischievously.
"No." He gave me a dirty look. " Just get it over with," his expression
told me he was serious.
"Can I touch you again?" hopefully...
"No," he gave me a piqued look.
"You know, what I really want is...hmmm, I want you to totally
obliterate the place where I work!"
He gave me a completely exasperated look. "Can't you do any better than
that? Wish for lots of money or men, maybe a gorgeous body. Maybe my
broken crystal..."
I glared at him. "Jareth!" I paused and regained my composure. His
pastime must be figuring out how to annoy people. I looked up to see him
staring at me intently with those mismatched eyes. A smile slowly lit up
my face as I thought of the wish that I really wanted. "Let me come to
the Underground any time I want and go wherever I want and talk to
whoever I want and stay as long as I want."
He smiled as genuine a smile as is possible for him to give (which
really did not look very genuine). "Are you saying you want to come
visit *my* Labyrinth?"
"Yup. And all the rest of the lands that come with it. You know,
strange though the concept may be to you, I like to have friends and
people here on earth just don't like to be very good friends. They back
stab you, and use you and do anything else hateful they can think of.
From everything I've read, there are *true* friends there (what can I
say, none of the listians are from earth). That's all I want. A place
where true friends are in abundance and magic is real and I can do
whatever I want (I looked at him devilishly) and...and everything else.
Now that I've made my sentimental speech, do I get my wish or what?"
With a graceful flourish, he pulled a crystal out of the air and handed
it to me. "Istra," he said grandly, " any time you have the desire to
visit my Labyrinth, just hold on to this crystal as tight as you can and
visualize the place you want to be. You may stay as long as you like,
but don't live there. You have your own life."
"I'll have the desire all right. Maybe for the Labyrinth...and maybe
for some-" he gave me a terrible look "-thing else like a-um-piece of
peach pie. Hey, I'll bring you some peach pie!"
He sighed in exasperation. "Don't push your luck. Make me angry and
I'll take it all back."
"Hmph, and I'll tell the list on you. Then we'll see how sorry you'll
be. But um, thanks very much. You don't know how much you've done for
me." I reached over and gave him a big bear hug, to which he responded
with a quaint little pat on the back and something like a sneeze in my
ear.
"Any time my dear...that is, any time I decide to give all the listians
a wish," and so saying, he transformed back into an owl before my eyes
and flew back out through the window on to the rest of his work. Never
to return? Ha! He *will* be back. And you know? That crystal works
really well (hey, whatever gets me to the Underground...and the royal
dressing room), but I am *still* trying to figure out how to get that
peach pie in to his castle without getting caught...

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (continued again)
From: rebl@sos.net (Rebecca C. Lewinski)
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 00:10:07 -0800 (PST)

From Rebecca In The Great Northwest:

"oh geez, Anakerie's started another nutty thread..." Rebecca muttered.
"This looks like a lot of fun. Any wish I want, eh?"

"Quite right -- OH. It's YOU again. I had hoped this time out, you would
skip this little adventure." The unmistakable voice dripped with distaste.
Rebecca spun around in shock from her computer screen.

"You??? Oh, stuff it - no, let me reword that. Stick it in your ear,
Jareth. About packages, what's said is said. I can't believe you're still
upset over such a little thing." Rebecca picked up the dog's squeaky toy
and clenched it in her fist. It emitted a remarkably loud chirp.

The Goblin King grimaced. "Why shouldn't I be annoyed? But please, onto
the business at hand, if you don't mind. It's been a very busy night." He
tossed himself onto the guest bed, then flipped out a crystal and began to
toy with it. "Let's get on with it," he sighed. "What is your ONE wish,
old girl?"

"I think you filled that by actually showing up, BUT, if you insist, just
give me a moment to think......" Rebecca stood up just as her two girls
wobbled into the room, rubbing their sleepy eyes, and rubbing other places
too. [HEY!!! No snickering out there! For once this is a family show!
--Rebecca]

"Momma, we still itch.... can we have a --- HEY!!!!! CAMI!!! LOOK!!!!!! HE'S
REAL!!!!" Kylie squealed. Jareth covered his ears, then smiled sweetly as
Cami waddled toward him chanting "Gobbin Keen! Gobbin Keen!"

"ooo, come here, little one...." he cooed as he reached out to pick her up,
but Rebecca landed there first and snatched her away.

"Hands *OFF*, buster." She glared at him ferociously. He scowled back in
disappointment and crossed his arms. He cocked his head and gazed at her
with his mismatched eyes. "Your wish, Madame?"

"Oh, yeah, let me think -- girls, quit hanging on me.." Rebecca stood there
in a chorus of 'mommas' as little girls pulled on her knees and hands,
trying hard to think of a wish. "Girls, please, give momma a moment..."

Jareth smirked. "Tick-tick-tick-tick, my dear. Time is flying whether
you're having fun or not. I really must ask you to name your wish...."

"Girls!!!! Momma needs a little peace and quiet here! Sometimes I just
wish you'd leave me-"

!!!POOOF!!!! -alone!"

"GOTCHA!!!!!" Jareth's voice howled with laughter as glitter and sparks fell
where there once two little girls and a Goblin King.

"JARETH!!!!! HEY! You didn't let me finish, and how do YOU know I was
talking about them! I could have been talking about YOU! Did I name
names!???" Rebecca whirled in place, looking about frantically. No
response, though she thought she heard faint laughter. "JARETH!!! You don't
know what you're exposing yourself to -- they're still INFECTIOUS, pinhead!"

"uh, What?"

Good. She had his attention, even if she couldn't see him. "Jareth. Look
very closely at those girls. Do you see that skin rash and those little
blisters???"

"Oh. What of it?"

"Well, it's chicken pox. It's very very itchy and very, very contagious.
It's not too bad if you get it as a kid, but it's very serious if you get it
as an adult, and I'd really, really, hate to see what it would do to a
kingdom full of goblins. Think of it." Rebecca tried not to smile as she
closed in for the kill.

"Ummm...." a slight hesitation was creeping into his voice.

"Come on, use your head, Jareth. Lots of itchy, cranky, uncomfortable
goblins taking lots and lots of oatmeal baths. Granted, they probably
scratch a lot anyway, but think of all the oatmeal you'd have to buy, and
how it would overload the plumbing. Would probably make the BOES back up
and overflow. And if you get the disease...." she sighed. "Well, I just
would not want to be in your hot, itchy tights...."

!!!POOOF!!!! MOMMA!!!!!!" Well, there they were again, the little cherubs
pulling on her clothes. "Momma, you wished us away! I'm telling Daddy!"
Kylie glared up at her mom. Cami rubbed her face on her mommy's knee,
trying to scrape some itchy glitter off her nose. Rebecca knelt and scooped
them into a bearhug.

Jareth sighed heavily from the bed, a wary distance away. "Well, I suppose
I did jump the gun a little, technically you weren't finished. So, tell me.
How much exposure is needed before one gets this, this pox?"

"I think it's too late for you, pal."

"Oh dear God...." he muttered, looking paler than usual. "I need to leave
and be on my way. Your wish -- PLEASE!!!" he was starting to fidget.

"Well, I-" All four individuals stopped and looked toward the window. With
a glance at Jareth, Rebecca leaned over for a look as the girls squealed yet
again. "Oh Ships. [remember this is a family show-- R.] There's a bunch of
really wierd looking people doing the Time Warp in my garden and they're
trampling the spinach. I could swear that's Tim Curry out there.....
Jareth, you know anything about this?"

"Oh, That. That was Molly's wish, she's turning the whole world into one
big Rocky Horror movie. Right on time, too. I forgot that the wave of
magic I created was headed in this direction.... Rebecca, I really Must
Leave, preferably before the wave gets here. NOW would be a very nice time
to exit. Your wish is going, going--"

"Okay, here's my wish. Even though I'm a big RHPS fan and I hate to
disappoint Molly, could you undo her wish? I really need our garden in one
piece, and I don't have quite the right figure anymore for corsets and
garters..."

"GONE!" There was another poof of glitter and sparks. Rebecca and the
girls looked back out at the garden. There were several confused people
from the neighborhood staring in dismay at the shattered plants and
marveling at their 'unique' attire. Mr. Fife looked particularly odd in
those fishnet tights, and his wife shrieked at the scarlet leather bustier
she found herself in. It didn't quite cover her 80 year old torso completely.

"Dad's not gonna be happy about his spinach, Mom." Kylie said solemnly.

========
To: "labyfanfic" <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: When You Wish Upon A Goblin King
From: "Kethryn Jenis" <hat@micronet.net>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 01:45:32 -0900

I could resist. I *should* be working on Thundering Rain like usual, but, I
read this, and well.... You'll see.

************************
I'd been working on a particularly hard to write part in my fanfic when
the urge to check my e-mail suddenly overcame me. What I found was the most
amazing thread - and the most hilarious - about Jareth granted the listians
their wishes. I found it all rather hilarious, and it picked me up out of
the gutters of my depression from writer's block. I was so thrilled by the
whole story that I actually thought of what my wish would be. Then, my
obliviously cynical mind kicked in, ruining my high and I sighed to myself,
"Yeah, right, Keth. It'll never happen."
"Really, Kethryn, I hadn't expected such cynicism from you, my elfish
princess."
It was Jareth, I knew it was even before I turned to see him propped it
my large window, one foot against the frame and the other dangling beside
the wall. He played with a trio of crystals and smiled tiredly at my
astonishment. Disbelief coloured my mind, and then understanding. Just when
I ceased to believe, it would be proven real!
My first response was to see that my brother hadn't heard him in the
other room, the last thing I needed was him learning... to my amazement, he
was walking off to bed and never even noticed the Goblin King perched behind
me.
"Don't worry about it, Keth, I took the liberty of making him extra
sleepy. Never did like the hedgewort wannabe." He sighed and the crystals
disappeared. He swung his other leg down and walked to me, putting both
hands on my shoulders and leaning down to whisper in my ear.
"Your wish, my dear?"
I wanted to wish to be home, but what good would that do me if I were
still human? I looked at the story behind my e-mail and grinned. He *had*
wanted a normal wish.
"I want to be Thia. Only, with my past in my head, not hers. I want the
wine-red waist length perfect hair, the depthful black eyes, the pale skin,
the lanky stature, the elvin magick - the whole kaboodle." I detailed all of
my requirements in full when he only gawked at me, and then smiled
generously at him.
He was still in stunned silence, probably unbelieving that I actually
wanted to assume that role - being his niece and all. Then he mumbled
something about too many guidlines that he couldn't even flubb me up
anywhere, and handed me a crystal.
"There, drop it at your feet and you'll have your wish. No one will
recognize you, princess, remember that. Only your eyes will be the same -
but a different colour."
I looked at him quizzicly, wondering why he was explaining it all.
"It's been a long night," he said in response to my thoughts.
I dropped the crystal as he watched and felt a strange feeling course
over me. Then my reflection in the window was exactly as I'd wanted it. I
smiled in thanks to Jareth, regreting that I'd have to hold him a moment
longer.
"Your majesty?" I said, trying to be kind, he was, after all being
genorous, and I wondered momentarily why.
"Yes, elf? Do be quick, there are so many others!"
"You forgot the cat, my lord."
Visably pleased at my use of honouraries, he waved his hand and Rascal
appeared in my arms, immortal, as Thia's Rascal was. I gave him an
affectionate squeeze and looked to the King once more.
"Thank you, and be well. Get some sleep before your next meeting, all
these wishes are killing you, your majesty."
He smiled, half amused, half upset that his tire was showing, then he
was gone.
I turned back to my computer, and placed Rascal on my lap, petting him
furiously - how I'd missed him! I finished my story, for I felt I owed it to
Maria and Jessie, if no one else, to finish it before I left for home at
long last.
******************************

Wow, that's long. There's my wish. I love all of yours, they've been so
imaginative and fun!

Synsearly,
Keth

========
To: lyla@montrose.net, labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: Delirium17 <Delirium17@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 08:26:02 EST

"It is you" I gasped as the goblin king appeared in my room.

"Who did you think it was?" he replied. "On of your silly little boys in
makeup".

I just smiled at him and negelected to point out the fact that he was wearing
more makeup than any of my little goth boy.

"So your majesty. What is your buisness with me tonight?" I glanced at the
clock and saw that it was drawing close to 3:30 am. "Well, this morning I
guess would be more apropraite...but honestly....I need to get to bed, and I
don't think you have any plans of joining me"

Mumbling under his breath about the sex drive of some of these labyrinth
children he put his head in his hands and sighed. "I have come to grant you
one wish, and please wipe those thoughts out of your head. I'm taken."

"Oh wow...talk about putting me on the spot huh?...ummmmm.....ummmm" I began
to muse.

"please hurry" he interjected. "Do you know how many more wishes I have to
grant tonight?"

"Oh....yeah...ummm...ummmm....okay!"

"Did you think of something? Remember, you might just get what you wished
for"

"I want to sing in a band, and I want the band to be signed to Cleopatra
records." I said all in one breath.

"That is bordering very cloesly on two wishes..." he began, but seeing me
begin to cry he sighed and handed me one of his crystals. "Expect to start
rehersals tomorrow"

"Thank you so much!" Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"....and while I was
thanking him he dissapeared from view.

cynthia
*princess of insuficent light*

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: newkirk4@juno.com (Tricia McMillan)
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 10:35:51 -0500

Trillian was slumped over her computer, angry and sad at JAreth for not
giving her her house. She sighed a bit, and then, Jareth appeared again.
She was slightly confused. Jareth then started to say, "Oops, I've been
here already." Whhen Trilly lunged at him and grabbed his hair. "You're
not going anywhere Hair Boy! I demand wishes and I demand them now!"
Grimacing under the pain of his head, Jareth replied, "How could I
decline such a polite offer? Very well what is your wish?"
"Not so fast, Faery Man. Follow me." Trillian led Jareth outside her
house (still by the hair :)) and got a rope. She then took him back
inside, sat him in a chair, and tied him up.
"Now then, I'm sure that you know that you're going to pay for what
happened earlier." As she said this, she tied the rope to her wrist so
that Jareth couldn't get away.
"Just tell me your wish, and let me go. I still have many wishes to
grant, my dear."
"And don't call me that. I hate it when people call me that! Now
then.... First, I wish to have three more wishes, Genie Boy."
Jareth sighed. "As you wish, it is granted."
"And now, my first wish is this. Remember that other wish? I don't
know who it was, but someone wished for the whole world to be The Rocky
Horror Picture show, but then someone wished it off. Anyway, my first
wish is that the whole world would be one large U2 concert."
"WHAT?!?!" Jareth shouted.
"Shh, shh, quiet. The 'rents are sleeping."
"Do you have any idea how much money that would cost?"
"Hmm... you're giving me great ideas for my next wish..."
"Ok! Ok, wish granted!"
"Thank you. Now, next wish. Remember that house you got me? The one in
Ireland?"
"Yes." Jareth groaned.
"One or two of the rooms must be filled with ne copy of every Celtic
music cd there ever was."
"That's more money going down the drain....."
"And more ideas for more wishes..."
"Oh, alright. Wish granted."
"Besides, what do you care about money anyway? You can conjure it up
whenever you want... you're the Goblin King."
"So what? It still makes more work I have to do."
"I suppose becoming Goblin Princess is out of the question?"
"Absolutely. These ropes are getting uncomfortable."
"Don't care. Ok, my Ireland house has everything that I own in it,
right? All of my stuffed animals, all of my CDs, my two CD players, my
bed? Everything?"
"Yes, it does. Hurry up, or I'll have to throw you head first into
the--"
"Bog of Eternal Stench before I can blink, right? Ok, here's my last
wish. I wish that I (as in, I, myself, and anything else that could mean
me) were in that house. That means you transport me there, Goblin Dude.
And it has to be the same one that has the peaches and the CDs and
everytinhg else."
"Granted. Untie me."
Before Trillian could untie him, they were both transported to her
house in Ireland. "Thank you ever so much...waitaminute. Does this place
have utilities? Electricity, water, heat, all that stuff?"
Jareth laughed. "Such a pity... no it doesn't."
"Then I suppose that I'm giong to have to keep you... unless..."
"Unless what?!"
"Unless you give me *all* utilities, already paid. Meaning I need pay
no bills or taxes, and I want the house transported to a meadow in a
secluded forest."
"What kind of weirdo are you?"
"I am all kinds, I am many kinds, I am no kinds."
"Yes, whatever you say. That is all granted. Look out your window if
you need to make sure."
I looked out my window and saw.... Lights everywhere, and a large
pimento olive. "What's with the olive, Hair Boy?"
"You wanted a large U2 concert, didn't you?"
"Erm, yeah.... Is there by any chance a giant lemon hanging around? Or
a Mirrorball?"
"There is a copy of every prop they have ever used in any concert in
every country, so you're just going to have to find them. Can I go now?"
"Oh, alright." Trillian untied all of the ropes, and Jareth instantly
disappeared. Trillian did a victory dance.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon A Goblin King, continued
From: DebKrier <DebKrier@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 11:00:57 EST

I sat fidgeting and cradling my backpack protectively, waiting for the broker
across the desk to get off the phone. "I'm sorry, but this is Manhattan. If
you can't find a guarantor for Manhattan rates, then maybe you should be
looking in Brooklyn or New Jersey." She paused to listen. "Well, there's
just nothing I can do for you, except refer you to a broker in one of those
other areas." Pause. "Well, go ahead. If they can find you an apartment in
a market with a less than 1% vacancy rate with your financial background, more
power to them. Goodbye." She replaced the phone in its cradle and turned to
look at me. I started to fidget all over again under her hard stare. "So,
what can I do for you?"

"Well, I'm here to negotiate for the apartment on West 9th where that Jack
Nicholson/Helen Hunt movie was filmed."

"Yeah. So what's your income, how's your credit, have you bounced any checks,
do you have a roommate, do you have a guarantor in the tri-state, if so what's
their income and I'll need copies of their last two tax returns and bank
statements." She paused to draw a breath, then looked at me expectantly.

"Well, I'm a law student at NYU, and I make over $40K in loans..."

"Sorry, but students need a guarantor. Landlords don't count loans as
income."

"Well, I sort of have this..." I pulled the crystal ball out of my bag and
handed it to her.

"I'm sorry, but only liquid assets count. Stocks, bonds, and crystal balls
just don't cut it with the Manhattan landlords."

"But look at it," I pleaded. "It's not just a crystal ball. It's everything
I need to get that apartment on West 9th..." She wasn't looking at the ball,
but she was starting to look at me as if I needed a room with a little more
padding than the usual New York apartment could provide. "Just humor me and
look into the ball." I gave her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Oh alright. I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm not seeing anything more than a
reflection of this office."

This wasn't working. "Um, what do I need to have to have that apartment?"

She looked up from the crystal and back to me. "Look, you obviously aren't
ready for this. Why don't you take your little crystal ball and go back to
the dorms?" With that she handed back the ball and picked up her phone to
make some calls, not even waiting for me to exit.

I gave a frustrated sigh. I should have included in my wish instructions on
how to use this thing...

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon A Goblin King, continued
From: DebKrier <DebKrier@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 11:40:12 EST

I sat in the Grey Dog Cafe, a cup of Grey Dog in one hand and the crystal
ball in the other. The episode at the broker's had me completely bummed out,
and unfortunately the combination of caffeine and uninterrupted staring
weren't helping me to figure out the puzzle of the ball at all. Maybe a
kamikaze shot would work... But if I was going to start doing shots, this
crystal ball was going home before I could smash it in a drunken stupor. I
got up and headed back to the dorm.

*****
"Hey, cool. A package!" I looked at the return address, and saw
IrishCreme's address. What was it that she had wished for? Being the
impatient person that I am, I started to open the package right then and there
in the lobby. "She sure did tape this up tightly!" After a judicious use of
my keys, I had finally broken through all the tape and lifted the flaps of the
box.
"Hey lady!" A firey head popped out of the box. "About time that you
opened this up! We were starting to hallucinate in there from a lack of
oxygen. Actually, that was sort of fun. Why don't you climb inside with us
and close the top back up? It'll be fun!"
"Yeah, lady!" A second head jumped up and jostled the first out of the
way. "You look like you could use a little oxygen deprivation!"
"What the hell?!" I stuffed the two heads back down and quickly closed
the box. Fireys? What was I going to do with a couple of fireys? Suddenly,
an evil thought popped into my head. I picked up the box and headed back
outside, the front desk attendant looking on with disbelief and wonder.

*****

Talking my way past the doorman wasn't too difficult at all. I'd have to
complain about the lax security once I got my apartment. But that was later.
Right now I was outside the door of what was soon to be my new apartment. I
knocked loudly, then waited impatiently for the door to open. A minute and
much grumbling later, a rather large man opened the door. "Yeah, who are
you?"
"Delivery, sir. Here you go." I handed him the box and quickly walked
to the stairs and out of his sight.
"Hey, wait! This isn't even addressed to me! What is this?" Getting no
response, he grumbled and closed the door. Waiting a few more seconds, I
lightly crept back up the stairs and stood back outside his apartment, my ear
plastered to the door. I heard plenty of crashes, a few "No! Get away from
that! It's an original!", and plenty of cursing. Yep, things were going
swell.

*****

"Well, the apartment is a bit of a fixer-upper, but then, that's why
you're getting it at such a good rate." The landlord was handing me the keys
after we had just signed the final papers. I was happy to be getting a large
apartment in such a awesome building, and the landlord was happy to find
someone willing to rent the place what with rumors of a band of strange orange
monkeys that would mysteriously appear all of a sudden and trash the place
with disjoined limbs and heads. Sure, it had happened only that once and
there'd been no trace of the strange monkeys since, but what if...?

As the landlord left, I picked up my everpresent backpack and pulled out
a crystal ball. Sure, it wasn't what had exactly gotten me the apartment, but
it had inspired me to such sneaky and manipulative methods. I placed it on
the mantle over the fireplace. It would make a wonderful knickknack.

========
To: <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (Delilah part2)
From: "Fritch" <fritchka@fast.net>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 14:02:50 -0500

Delilah snorted and rolled over covering her head with a pillow
before sighing in disgust. The sound of screaming frantic women just
below her window was severly cramping her sleeping talent. She dragged
her grogey body out of bed and flung the wiindow open wincing at the
sunlight. All kinds of people were standing in the middle of the
street blocking traffic and tramping her garden all moving to the
strands of music drifting through the air.
"Will you people just go home!" She shrieked for the third time
since early morning. No body paid any attention to her and she shook
her head in disgust. "I talk, no one answers." She muttered as she
wandered down the stairs. Flipping on the computer she sniffed as she
read the new messages. "Well, that certainly explains the U2 music she
said to herself.
A meek cry reached her ears and she slowly turned around. Her grey
kitten was absently pawing at the prone form of a white owl. The bird
seemed oblivious to the noisy animal as it slept. "Oh, no. I don't
think so." Delilah said as she moved closer to the owl. "Hey, you! No
freeloading." She said poking the owl with a finger tip.
A yellow eye glared at her and the owl yawed and stretched out
it's wings. With a flash of glitter Jareth winced and placed a hand
over a tender spot on his back. "What are you doing here?" She had to
yell as the U2 music swelled and the screaming horse outside began
singing.
"I needed some sleep and I figured you were the closest listean
who wouldn't jump me as I slept." Jareth explained as he limped into
the kitchen.
Delilah carefully studied his chest and hands and frowned deeply.
"Do you know you have spots?" She asked as he absently sctratched at
one.
Jareth nodded as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Rebecca's
children gave me something." He shrugged as he took another sip.
Delilah's blue eyes widened and she backed away from him. "Chicken
poxs? You have chicken poxs?" Her voice slowly rose in tone as she
frantically tried to move away from him.
Jareth eyed her strangely. "Yes, why?"
"How many people have you visited since then?"
The goblin king shrugged. "Too many."
"Do you have any idea how contagious that is?"
"Does it matter?"
Delilah shook her head in annoyance. "Yes. I know that I for one
have never had it. Not only have you been spreading wishes you've been
spreading the chicken poxs. If I get sick, so help me Jareth, I'm
going to find your spandexed butt and. . . and. . . well I'm not sure
what I'm going to do but it will hurt! Now get out of my house!"
The goblin king gave her a radient smile and turned to leave. He
caught sight of the mob outside and paused for a moment.
"Interesting." He muttered.
"Yeah, but they're better then the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast.
I had to peel a guy in a red teddy off my boyfriend before the Time
Warp dance he was trying to do got a little too personal. I have to
admit, Jareth. You really screwed up this time."
Jareth shrugged. "It's not my world." He said as his form
shimmered and a white owl flew from the window into the cold
Pennsylvania air.
Delilah wandered over to her fridge and pulled her grocery list
off the door. Snatching a pen from the counter she added Oatmeal to
the list. "Guess I'm never going to get these stories finished." She
said as she dialed up her doctor's phone number. It rang twice before
an elderly man answereed. "Yeah, doc? I just had an unexpected visitor
who has the chicken pox. How soon can I come in?"

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon A Goblin King, continued
From: Andi Beard <ab232197@oak.cats.ohiou.edu>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 15:18:16 -0500

I leaned over and raked the warm, fluffy laundry out of the dryer
into the waiting basket, humming to the tune of "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
that was faintly playing from somewhere outside. I picked up the basket
and walked through the doorway to see a figure standing beside the dining
room table.

I gasped and took a few frantic steps backward, tripping over the
threshold and landing with a thud on my backside, covered in clean,
fresh-smelling underwear. I blinked and gasped as recognition set
in--could it be??? I scrambled to my feet and peeked around the doorway
just to make sure.

"Oh, hell."

The Goblin King smiled smugly. "Hello, MadMarian," he said in
silken tones. In spite of myself, chills tingled up the back of my neck,
and I gulped.

"Hi," I said, stepping over the upturned laundry basket and
brushing my husband's Fruit of the Looms off my sweatshirt. "Does this
mean I get a wish?"

"But of course," Jareth said, making an expansive gesture with his
gloved hand.

"Oh, goody!" I jumped up and down a couple of times, startling the
fish in the nearby aquarium and obviously annoying the Goblin King.

"Would you please control yourself? I would expect as much from
some of the younger Listetians, but really, Marian--you? You're one of
those who, as one of your cohorts so elegantly put it, are practically
eligible for social security. Please act your age."

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "Hey, it's not my
fault I've been waiting for a visit from you since I *was* a teenager!
Where were you then?"

He shrugged and boredly examined his flawless leather jacket's
lengthy lapels. "I didn't have a computer then."

I grinned. "But now...you use a Mac, I'll bet."

A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. "That's not
important. What is at hand is your wish, which I do wish you would get on
with. This is taking much longer than I ever expected, and I still have
several list members to deal with."

"Right. Now, let's see..."

"You mean you don't have anything prepared?"

"No," I frowned. "Should I have?"

"Well you've had plenty warning, what with every Listetian posting
their experience with me on that infernal mailing list of yours. Come now,
wouldn't you simply love to have, say, an A in syntax class?"

I frowned. "Well, yes, but I *think* that's something I can
accomplish without any supernatural interference...at least, I *think* it
is, so...let's see--you couldn't correct my husband's vision, could you?
So he wouldn't have to wear those damned glasses?"

Jareth bent to peer into the fish tank. "Like I told your friend
IrishCreme, I'm a Goblin King, not a doctor. Besides, that's wish for
*him,* not for you."

I sighed and, seeing him raise a gloved hand toward the aquarium,
automatically snapped, "Don't tap on the glass. Hmmm...you've given Angel
the ability to go to the Labyrinth...maybe you could get me a free pass
into Narnia or Oz or someplace...naah, I'm sure they wouldn't be like I
expected once I got there. How horrible that would be! I'd rather live
with my fantasies, frankly. Okay...Oh! You gave several people magic
powers! Maybe I could wish for that Old Jedi Mind Trick thing. That would
be cool!"

Jareth looked relieved and began to produce a crystal, but then I
interrupted. "Oh, but then whenever somebody agreed with me I'd think it
was because of the Force and not because they actually *agreed* with me.
That wouldn't be any good..."

Jareth sighed and leaned against the doorframe leading to the
kitchen, tapping a gloved finger impatiently on one of my chairs.

"Okay, Jareth-baby, you've been wanting people to make reasonable
wishes, right?"

"Oh, I'd give my sceptre if someone would!" he said, raising his
fingertips to his temples.

"Well, my husband and I have been wanting the perfect pet, but we
can't agree on just what kind of pet that would be. So maybe you could..."

Jareth smiled. "Of course. It is, as you say, a piece of cake.
Just give me your specifications..."

"Well, nothing too big, like a Saint Bernard, but then again,
nothing too small, like a hamster. Something furry and mild-mannered. And
friendly. And smart, but not too smart. Something we can cuddle with. No
birds or lizards. And it has to be able to deal with being indoors."

The suave king made a brief gesture, then said, "Done. I'll just be
on my way now."

"Don't even need a crystal for that one, eh? Cool!" I held out my
hand and said, "Thanks for dropping by, King--nice to finally meet you!"

"And thank you, MadMarian, for making such an utterly sensible
wish." To my utter surprise, he took my hand in his and raised it to his
lips, planting a delicate kiss on the back of my hand. At the same time, I
heard the front door open and Buck walked in carrying a bag of groceries.
He took in the scene at a glance, dropped the groceries and lunged at
Jareth.

"Get your hands off her!" he shouted and before I could say
anything to stop him, Buck had cold-cocked the Goblin King, who lay
sprawled unconscious across the dining room floor.

We bent over Jareth's inert form, wide-eyed.

"Hey, isn't that the guy from that movie you like?"

"Yeah."

"What did he want?"

"He was granting me a wish."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Wish I could wish you hadn't done *that*!" I said wryly. "Too late
for wishin' now..."

Buck looked up at me, a perplexed look on his face. "By the way,
why is there a tree sloth in the living room?"

%%%%%%%%
;)
Next!
MadMarian
p.s. No, my hubby's real name isn't Buck, but then again my real name is
MadMarian, either, so there you go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Andrea S. Beard Dept. of Linguistics
ab232197@ohiou.edu Ohio University
"We give thanks for language--the human essence,
the skin of thought, more to the mind than
light is to the eye."
-Richard Lederer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon A Goblin King, continued
From: AngelDoll3 <AngelDoll3@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 15:41:21 EST

All right...I couldn't resist..Don't laugh..
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Eponine sat on the edge of her bed, trying to brush the tangle
out of her auburn hair. She smoothed the wrinkles out of her satin and lace
nightdress. She played with the large fire opal on her finger, thinking about
*him.*
The curtains of her window fluttered, as if the wind had picked
up. She went to close the window, and stepped back when a powerful figure was
siloutted by the lighting outside.
"Jareth?" she asked timidly. Although, when she had been
Princess, she had seen him many times, had not seen him since he had sent her
to the mortal realm for "protection."
The man before her gave a sneer.
"Aye, Eponine. It's me" he replied "Now tell me your wish and
let's get this over with, shall we?"
Eponine rubbed her cheek, thinking.
"I want three wishes"
Jareth sighed. "All right, Miss Thang. You can have three
wishes" he replied sarcastically.
Eponine bit her lip. She had to think fast.
"I want to be able to sing beautifully, enough to bring
people to tears."
Jareth spun a crystal ball in his hands.
"Done. 2 to go."
Eponine knew her next wishes all ready.
"I want to join the San Francisco Company of Phantom of the
Opera as Christine"
Jareth couldn't help but laugh. He repeated his motion.
"Done. Last one, and make this a good one. And you can't wish for anymore
wishes."
Eponine twisted the sleeves of the nightgown in her
nervous fingers.
"Well?" Jareth growled "Come along, darling, I haven't got all
day"
"I wish for Franc D'Ambrosio, the SF Phantom, to be in love with
me."
Jareth laughed heartily. "Sorry, dearie, I can't do that.
Try again"
Eponine smiled craftily. She tugged at a piece of hair.
"I wish for long, slightly wavy, auburn hair!"
Jareth groaned. "I can't change you! Try one more time, and
something I can do, or I'm leaving"
"All right, all right!" Eponine said, waving her hands
defensively.
"I wish....for a flat in SF, next to the Curran
Theater, and make it a nice flat, three bedroom, a really big bathroom, a
kitchen, the works."
Jareth sighed, "Flats, monkies, what will you people
think of next?"
"Just do it, eye shadow boy, and make it quick!"
Jareth granted the final wish, and threw the crystal
to Eponine.
"I really thought you'd wish for the goblins to come
and take you away. Oh well. such a pity......"
And with that, jareth dissappeared. Eponine felt
like an idiot.
(Next Wisherssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss)

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish upon a Goblin King
From: Artemis148 <Artemis148@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 17:42:41 EST

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and
weary....wait, wrong story. Well, the midnight part was right. And it was
rather dreary. Which was why I was typing away at my lovely computer, very
intent on working up part 11 of Play. Well, in theory.
In actuality, I was staring at the screen, reading the last few
sentences over and over and over again in a vain attempt to find some way to
continue them. Very monotonous, really it was. The words were becoming nice
little black blurs across the screen and it was at this point that I fell
asleep.
Only to be awakened as my head smashed into the keyboard. Nice
wake-up call, really. Well, that and the superior, mocking laughter which
came from next to me.
"Damn, dreaming again. At least I'm me in this one. Better than
the last time. Being Sarah is not my idea of a good night's rest."
I wearily looked up at him. He glanced down at me, a smile
playing across his lips. This continued on for about a minute or so.
"And the plot of this one isn't going anywhere at all. I really
need to have a good long talk with my subconscious. All this bringing Jareth
into my dreams and then not doing anything with him. Terribly boring. Ah
well, guess I have to advance my own plot then." I stood up - well, staggered
up, noticed his amused expression, and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Well?"
"Well what, Jalen?"
I yawned. "Oh, lovely, I get to be Jalen in this one. Yay. " I
looked down at myself and my general attire. "Not dressed like her, though.
Missing the teeth, too. Hmmm, something went awry in the subconscious this
time. Surprise, surprise." I
yawned at him and looked back up.
"Do you always talk to yourself like this?" Damn that playful
smile. Talk about Life (well Dream) imitating Art.
I opened my eyes a bit, though. My mind groggily began to
work, protesting the entire time. "First off, if this is a dream, it should
be more like thinking out loud. Second off, if this is a dream, you
shouldn't care about said thinking out loud. Third off, if this is a dream,
you shouldn't care enough about said thinking out loud to make note of it." I
tilted my head to the side as logic ponderously began its invasion. "Which
would lead me to believe that this isn't a dream. However, unfortunately,
that would defy the same logic used to reach this conclusion so-" I broke
off, studying him in a semi-lucid state. "Well, doesn't matter. Might as
well enjoy being Jalen, er, sort of." I adopted a comfortable British accent.
"All right, love, so what brings you here?"
"I've come to answer your prayers."
"Ah, no fair quoting other characters. Besides, I'm sure
Lestat's copyrighted that line anyway. Try again, love."
The wicked grin had spread across his lips completely. " How
about 'I've brought you a gift' ?"
"Threadbare, but passable. Now, what is this gift of yours?"
"It's a wish, nothing more." He paused, surveying my
reaction.
I nodded. "Nice improvisation with that line. However, as I
crossed the line between exhausted and dead about an hour ago, might you
continue on before I fall asleep on you?" I caught a bit of laughter in his
eyes. "That came out wrong, you know how it was meant, might we move on,
hmmm?"
A crystal materialized and he began twirling it about,
probably out of habit."I've promised a wish to every member of the List so
I've come to grant you yours."
"So now you've turned genie? Nice addition to your
repertoire of characters. Anyway, continue."
"That is all."
"Um, no. It would appear you've forgotten the standard
catch, limitation, and/or drawback which accompanies the offer."
"You weren't going to wish for me, were you?" Hmmm, odd,
he really did want to know.
I considered. "No, too much pride for that."
"Well, then, there's no catch. One wish, at your
disposal. What will you have?"
My turn to smile. " I have been generous, up until now,
but I can be cruel." A guarded expression crossed his features before the
general amusement returned. Probably hadn't followed my train of thought.
Not an uncommon occurrence with me. Non Sequiturs 'R' Us. Give him points
for poise, though.
"And you accuse me of threadbare lines."
"It's not often I get to say them - I get special
dispensation. You, however, do not."
He laughed softly. Oh yeah, I was as amusing as hell.
Sure.
"So, Jalen, what will it be?"
"Hmmmm...supposedly no catches but I better damn well
phrase this carefully if I don't want to end up stuck in Limbo or something.
You're liable to twist anything I say into something that will amuse you."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Rather perceptive of you."
"You read and write enough fanfiction, you learn
something. Besides, that's what I'd do in if I was in your position." I
caught the laughter from his eyes again, the throaty, sensual sound of his
laughter. "Not that way, you suggestive and insinuating man." I looked at
him steadily, savoring the sound of that heady laughter. "All right, I've got
a wish for you. Give me a voice as silky and as entrancing as yours - a
light, musical female version that will enchant at will."
"Done. Now, though I've enjoyed our conversation, I
must be off-"
"Ja-a-a-areth." I drew the name out softly, listening to
the sound of this powerful weapon he had equipped me with. It ran over my
skin like water, caressing, soft, sensual. I can only imagine what it did to
him.
He stood there, eyes locked on mine. "Enjoy your
wish, Jalen." He promptly disappeared, most likely to escape the effect of my
voice on him.
Hmmmm, so I had the power to effect the Goblin King at
will. I think I was in for some capital amusement in the future.

Xarael called Jalen

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (Angel part 2)
From: NytAngel98 <NytAngel98@aol.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 19:12:32 EST

Sorry guys, but I couldn't resist adding onto it. I'm not just going to sit
there with my newfound powers and do nothing!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Angel yawned and blinked sleepily as she sat up in her new, soft, luxurious,
king-size bed in the Paris Opera House. Smiling happily, she got out of bed,
the skirt of her new black villainish nightgown reaching to the floor.
"Oh how I love these new powers," she remarked to herself with glee. "I must
remember to thank Jareth whenever I get the chance."
After she finished her conversation online with her friend, Angel had hastily
proceeded to use her new powers to acquire a silky, beautiful voice, the
deeds, rights, and all ownership to the Paris Opera House and Castle Vianden
in Luxembourg. She had also made slight alterations to her features. She had
given herself a more glowing shade of green for her eyes and a darker shade of
brown for her hair, for a decent intimidating look. The fact that she got a
new wardrobe goes without saying.
Stretching luxuriously, Angel transformed her clothes into a gold satin shirt
((kind of like Jareth's white one when he sings "Magic Dance," but with a
higher neckline)), a black leather vest on top of that, black leather pants,
and black leather boots. Walking over to the large, full-length mirror, Angel
smiled at her evil appearance and ran a brush through her hair a few dozen
times.
After setting the brush down, Angel teleported down into the fifth cellar with
a glowing crystal in the palm of her left hand used as a light. Finally, she
thought. I can see what I've wanted to see all my life.
After about a half hour of walking and supernatural location using, Angel
stood before where the House on the Lake should have been. She put a hand to
her chin and sighed in thought. It would be difficult to uncover all of this,
even with her powers. Setting the crystal down to hover six feet above the
ground, Angel aimed both of her hands straight at the large amount of dirt and
earth and began to uncover the house as glowing blue light eminated from her
hands.
After almost an hour of tedious magickwork, she smiled happily at her
discovery. Before her stood the Phantom's house.
"I KNEW it!" Angel yelled happily, her eyes shining with happiness. "I KNEW
it had to exist!!!"
Walking slowly to the house, she looked around slowly, taking in every little
detail. It was all there as she had hoped; the pipe organ, the coffin, the
guestroom. Angel gasped as she saw sheet music lying on the organ.
"It--it CAN'T be! It can't!!" she yelled out as she ran over to the organ and
dusted the sheet music off. It was what she had thought. His opera, Don Juan
Triumphant. Swiftly grabbing the music and gently rolling it up, she put it
in a bag which had appeared slung over her shoulder at that moment.
"I see you are enjoying your powers," a Brittish-accented voice remarked from
her side. Angel smiled.
"Yes I am, m'lord. Thank you kindly," she answered, deciding it would be
wiser to use manners after what Jareth had given her.
"Well, I'm glad to see you haven't taken over the world with them as of yet or
something such as that. I had enough trouble turning the world into a U2
concert and a Rocky Horror movie. You know, your fellow listians are insane
and some of them have the worst sex drives..."
Angel couldn't help but giggle slightly, as she had read all the previous
posts on the list. She looked sympathetic at seeing Jareth's frown.
"Now you know how Santa Claus feels, m'lord. Of course, HE never visited ME.
Then again, who wants a dumb wooden horse for Christmas? Oh, but I digress.
You had a long night and day and you should get back to the castle for some
much needed rest. Besides, you have chicken pox and you're going to be
needing PLENTY of rest for that. It's a good thing I'm vaccinated against it.
If you need anything else, let me know and I'll teleport straight to your
castle, highness."
Jareth seemed to almost smile as Angel spoke, but bowed extravagantly in
farewell.
"Goodbye, m'lady," he spoke as he disappeared. "Have fun with your power."
In a gust of wind, he vanished as quickly as he had come, leaving Angel to her
exploration. Smiling, she looked the house over once more and grabbed the
glowing crystal out of the air. Teleporting back up to her room, she vowed to
spend as much time as it took to get this place looking like Erik had intended
while he was still alive. Hmmm, she wondered as she appeared back in her room
in the Opera House. I wonder if I could bring him back to life....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Angel of Labyrinthine Night*

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: When You Wish upon a Goblin King
From: leila <leila_lc@rocketmail.com>
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 1998 20:29:39 -0800 (PST)

I guess it's time for me to take a stab at this, though I'm far too tired
to write anything vaguely entertaining.
--------
An owl flies down from the trees in Leila=92s backyard toward her window.

Leila: Great, another stupid bird flying at it=92s reflection. And an ow=
l
no less. =20

Owl swoops up and hoots at her.=20

Leila: Um, ok. I need to get a bit more sleep. I could have sworn it
was saying something.=20

Leila sighs, heads for her couch type thing and starts reading her lines.
She gets about half way through them when dialogue from the opposing
page catches her attention. Completely forgetting that she needs to
memorise her lines for the next day, she reads on through the play. A
play and a half later, she looks up blurry eyed from the book. The owl
is sitting on the deck railing, looking in at her.

Leila: Ok, a crazy owl. Oh well, I=92m talking to my self. Can=92t be m=
uch
worse.

She looks back toward her book, and realises what she=92s done. =20

Leila: Damn, I shouldn=92t have done that! =20

Leila turns out the over head light. She sighs and looks out the other
window at the rain coming down. Deciding it=92s mild enough, and stuffy
enough in her room, she walks toward the window and opens it. Much to
her surprise the owl flies in. =20

Leila: Damn, should have put that screen back on.

Jareth: There seem to be a lot of things you should have done lately.

Leila turns into a statue. It=92s suddenly way too cold in her room. Sh=
e
peers into the darkness, silently cursing her vision. The candle flames
flicker in the breeze. There=92s a sweet smell hanging in the air, the
smell of spring where she grew up. Leila recognises Jareth=92s
psychological trick, trying to throw her off balance. Deciding to make a
royal pain of her self, something she does quite well it should be noted,
she closes the window and calmly lies back down, closes her eyes and
starts to go to sleep. If Jareth is on any type of time schedule,
waiting for her to sleep will be a delay. And once she is asleep,
there=92s no waking her. Well, no safely waking her, that is.

She hears Jareth chuckling in the dark corner.

Jareth: Actually, I could use a break. Oh, and I do hope you aren=92t
susceptible to chicken pox..

Leila: *sigh* No, already had chicken pox.. Ah well, I=92ve got to sleep
anyway. Take the chair, or whatever. No leaving bird droppings around
though, or I=92ll rub your nose in them!

--the next morning (ie, three hours later)--

Leila yawns and stretches: What a strange dream. =20

She gets up and starts walking to the door. Somebody behind her clears
their through softly. Leila whirls around to see Jareth sitting in her
chair, well, not sitting as such, casually draped across is more like it.
He raises an eyebrow as the sparklies over take her eyesight and she
falls to the ground.

The darkness recedes, Leila finds herself lying on her back with Jareth
standing next to her fairly laughing at the whole thing.

Jareth: Well, I knew..

Leila: Shut up glitter boy, it=92s cause I stood up too quickly. Now, wh=
y
are you here?=20

Jareth: You know very well why I'm here.

Leila: Humour me.

Jareth gives her a look of annoyed amusement: Remember the wish thread..?

Leila: er..I guess. What about it? I=92ve class in a hour, hurry up!

Jareth looked down at his hands and started cleaning his nails. =20

Leila: Right, bye!

She turned on her heel and walked toward the kitchen. The house looked
deserted, which is good considering glitter boy followed her. =20

Leila: Orange juice? Let=92s see, what to eat...

Jareth: Really now, don=92t you have any wish you want granted?

Leila: Plenty of them, but I don=92t trust you. Oh, whip the hurt look o=
ff
your face, would you trust me if our positions were reversed? Ok, why
are you smirking?

Jareth: Reminiscent of Jalen, do you know her? But your wish, you do
have one. And only one, mind.

Leila: Hmm, interesting thought. I=92ll have to consider.

Jareth: You have thi--

Leila: No, it=92s your obligation, you can=92t set time limits.

Jareth: And if I do..

Leila: I refuse to play by your rules. Period. I don=92t make a wish,
it=92s your problem. After all, you=92ll have to give me a wish eventual=
ly.=20
You limited it to one, so I=92ll take my jolly time deciding *if* I=92ll =
use
it, thank you. Now, I=92m going to finish my breakfast - yes I eat stew
and crumpets for breakfast! - and get on with my day.=20

Jareth: Such a pity.

Leila: You said you needed a break, it's going to be a long one. Deal.
-----
That=92s it for now. If I ever decide on a wish, I=92ll let ya all know.=
=20
Ooh, and look I didn't consistantly use the same tense.. *sigh* G'night
folks!

Leila, Brat Princess
_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com

========
To: Fanfic - Labyrinth <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon A Goblin King
From: Catherine Went <kitty-w@usa.net>
Date: Mon, 09 Mar 1998 01:08:46 -0500

Ok, ok, ok, MY turn! This is the greatest thread I have ever seen in my
life (and yes, I'm one of those 'eligible for SS' listians!)

Here goes....

I was sitting at my computer when my husband walked in the room and
commented that he just can't believe how much time I spend on these Laby
lists. He kissed me goodnight, went to bed, and I went back to reading
my 56 email messages while listening to my Laby CD with the headphones
on.

Engrossed in some fan fic, I practically jumped out of my skin when I
felt a prickly feeling on my neck and an urge to turn around and look
behind me. "All this talk about strange Laby sightings and wishes from
Jareth must be making paranoid", I thought. Suddenly, my music
stopped. "What the.......now what's wrong with my compter! Damn thing
can't go for an hour without crashing! I wish this thing would work
right for once!" I took my headphones off and threw them on the desk.

"So, is that your wish, my dear?" I heard Jareth's voice behind me and
froze. I heard his cape rustling as he walked closer to me. My
'fearless' Labrador Retriever who was asleep under my desk, began having
a wild and crazy dream, complete with whining and twitching.

"What is that THING under your desk?", he asked, sounding very
disgusted.

I slowly turned around in my chair to find my self face to, uhm, 'face'
with Jareth who was standing extremely close. He looked down at my red
face with amusement as I tried to push my chair back and bumped into my
desk. My dog awoke and immidietely got up, wagging her tail furiously
and jumped up on Jareth. He jumped back and my dog vanished.

"What'd you do with my dog! Bring her back!"

"Oh, you'll get your mutt back after I leave. Aren't those creatures
supposed to bark or growl at strangers? Yours must be defective!" He
laughed loudly.

"Will you be quiet, you'll wake up my husband. He thinks I waste enough
time with this Labyrinth stuff as it is. And just leave my dog out of
this." I said defensively.

"I belive I did just that a moment ago." He had one of those smug
smiles on his face. "So, shall I grant your wish and make your computer
behave or are you going to change your mind like half the other
listians?"

"I didn't even know you were there when I wished that! That is NOT my
wish. Actually, I've been thinking about my wish and I know exactly
what I want."

"Well...get on with it, I haven't got forever."

"Oh? I thought that for you forever wasn't very long at all" I smiled
sweetly at him.

Jareth flopped down in the chair next to my desk and leaned closely to
me. "I am getting very weary of all this...this abuse from you and your
listian friends. I have been more than generous and I am exhausted from
granting all of these wishes. I have been forced to do a very
humiliating act when I say the word "the", I have been tied up, my hair
has been pulled, I have even been knocked unconscious! Make your wish,
woman!"

"You don't have to get so testy with me, I didn't do any of that stuff
to you. Although it does sound like fun, especially tying you up..."

Jareth sat back in the chair and sighed loudly.

"I'll tell you my wish after you tell me why you waited to long to visit
me. Why am I at the bottom of your list?"

"I can't visit everyone at the same time. Someone has to be first,
someone last. What difference does it make? Be glad you're getting a
wish and not a trip to the Bog of Eternal Stench or I could give your
daughter a makeover!" He was beginning to sound angry.

"Hey, keep your paws off my kid! OK, here's my wish. I want to meet
David Bowie, talk to him, have dinner with him, alone, in a high class
restaurant and HE pays for it. And I want a new outfit to wear for the
occasion, an APPROPRIATE outfit, and I want transportation there and
back already paid for AND-", Jareth cut me off.

"Technically that is more than one wish and I said you get ONE wish."

"Either you let me finish my wish and grant it or I'll change it to the
McGruff thing and add that no one can wish it off!"

"NO! Fine, finish your greedy little wish. But remember, you will get
exactly what you wish for."

"Yeah, yeah, anyway, AND I want to leave NOW and when I get back I want
it to be the same time as when I left so that no one knows I was gone
and I want the dinner to last at least an hour."

Jareth smiled wickedly and produced a crystal ball. He held it up to me
and I saw David Bowie sitting at a table in a very nice French
restaurant. Suddenly I was there with him, dressed in a tasteful black
dress, having dinner and chatting with him. The hours flew by as we ate
and chatted. The next thing I knew I was sitting back in my desk chair,
dressed in my sweatshirt and jeans, staring into an empty crystal ball.
I sighed happily.

Jareth smiled sweetly. "Did you have a good time, my dear?"

"Yes. Thank you so much." I smiled and looked up. "Hey, it's 4 am! It
was only 1 am when I left! What about the part where it's the same time
as I left when I get back!"

"Ahh, yes. When I leave it will again be 1 am and you, my dear will
remember NOTHING of your dinner with that rock star who so pathetically
portrayed me. You will, however, remember that you can't remember!" He
laughed and threw the crystal ball in the air and vanished. My dog
reappeared and the crystal ball hit the floor and popped like a soap
bubble taking all my memories of my evening with David Bowie with it.

"Damn you Jareth! And damn me too for not being more specific with my
wish!" I yelled.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When you Wish Upon A goblin King
From: mjharty@public3.bta.net.cn
Date: Mon, 9 Mar 1998 16:52:24 +0800 (CST)

Hi there! This is my first Laby fic as well as post, so as the saying goes,
don't peach me! BTW There are some references which will be explained at the end
of the post.
~~~~~~~~~~

Lil sat at her computer, smiling at all the messages in her
mailbox."Wishes, huh? Sounds like he's doing a remake of Ah My Goddess." A
picture of Jareth in long flowing female clothes flashed through her
head."Um...Well, it'd show off his figure _very_ nicely." She smirked.
"Ahem. Aren't you a little _young_ to have the odd sort of sex drive I
keep finding in almost all the Laby listians?"
Lil turned around and smiled."Oh, you're finally here!"
"Yes, yes, now get on with it!"
Lil looked at him, a devious glint in her eyes."'We are well matched,
you and I...'"
"Forget it. You can't wish for me." Then he mumbled something that would
have made Lil blush had she heard.
"And you do a pretty fine job of twisting wishes around." She looked
around."You wanna have a seat? My dog rather likes the large cushioned rocking
chair so I don't think-" *Poof* "Well, there goes the dog..."
Jareth sat down."Finally. Now, I haven't got forever-"
"Because forever isn't long at all?" Lil smiled."Don't mind me, I'm
actually the sanest in my family."
"Don't you mean the most insane?" Jareth asked warily.
"Hell no! Oh, excuse the language."
His lips quirked upwards."I've heard worse."
"From what? Anyway, I feel better swearing in Chinese than English..."
He sighed."Get on with it!"
"Sheesh! Belldandy was never like that! Course, you dress sorta like
Peorth..."
Jareth glared at her.
She waved her hands pacifyingly."Okay, okay. Man, you act a lot like
Hiei...Or maybe Tasuki. He's got red hair, which is closer to blond than Hiei's
black..."
Jareth scowled."Speak your wish or never do so again."
"Okay! I've got it! I want two more wishes!"
Jareth dropped his head into his hands."Figures."
"And for my first wish...I want to be able to buy all the manga and
anime and related objects and things at any time without limits!"
Jareth paled."And...how many things is that?"
Lil smiled coolly."Let's see...At least another 100 volumes of manga, 50
videos or VCDs, 80 posters..." Jareth waved his hand to shut her up.
"And your second wish?" He pulled out a crystal ball, then two, then
started working them like Chinese harmony balls to calm himself."The cost of
such a thing..." he muttered.
"And second, --you can't interrupt til I'm done saying this wish--" she
took a deep breath."I want a boyfriend who's a year or two older than me, about
4 inches taller than me, black hair, nice green or blue eyes, must be _cute_ in
the hunky sense, fashionable, for him to be in my class at school, for him to
appear in about a week or less, sensitive, athletic and intelligent but stupider
than I am, and for him to go away when I'm tired of him."
Jareth smiled."Stupider than you are? And easily dumped? My dear girl,
you;re quite frank as to your preferences."
"Of course. I can't stand being beat. Kinda like you or Ranma, but
that's beside the point."
Jareth threw her a crystal ball, which she fumbled with before she
caught it firmly."That will make your dream boy come when you're ready for him."
"Uh...does this thing come with instructions?"
Jareth's laugh faded as he flew away.
"I am such a twit." Lil commented, looking at the crystal this way and
that."Oh well, I got him to pay for the equivalent of my college tuition...(ED
Note: The stuff I've already bought and want to buy will probably really amount
to this^_^;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, references: Ah My Goddess is a Japanese cartoon/comic in which a boy
receives a visit from a goddess promising to grant him a wish. She's really
sweet and stuff like that. Peorth also shows up later in the comics, but she
likes dressing in very revealing, tight leather clothes...Heh.
Hiei is a demon from another japanese cartoon/comic, Yuyu Hakusho, knwon in the
US as Poltergeist Report. His usual expression is a scowl, and tends to be very
sarcastic and cruel. Tasuki is from Fushigi Yuugi, and says that he hates women.
Also goes around occasionally with a scowl. Ranma is from Ranma 1/2, and becomes
a girl when cold water is poured on him. Hot water reverses the effect. He hates
losing at _anything_ and always says,"This isn't over yet!"
Whew! Sorry, I really have a thing for Japanese comics(manga) and
animation(anime).

Ciao!
Lil(Hyper Queen)

Sukito ienaku temo
Anata ga kokoro niiru

*Even if I can't say I love you
You are in my heart.*

-----Eien no MELODY

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: amethyst@therugbypeople.co.uk (Amethyst)
Date: Mon, 09 Mar 1998 12:45:10 GMT

Okay then, I'm game for this. I apologise in advance for lowering the
tone, but I'm afraid it's something of a speciality of mine (see
http://www.jadzia.demon.co.uk/fanfic/xmen/mhairie.htm if you want to
see what I mean).

----------------------------------------
When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (Group Fic)
by Amethyst (amthyst@geocities.com)

It was nearing midday but Amethyst still lay in bed, half asleep. She
had actually got up briefly earlier (when you gotta go you gotta go)
and logged on to pick up her email before deciding to fall asleep
again. If it weren't for the fact that all her Labyrinth Fic mail went
to her work account she might have been expecting what happened next.

She heard a knock on the back door. "Bloody hell," she grumbled. Not
her new landlord or his wife, please! But who else could it be at the
back door. She grabbed her red padded shirt to cover herself and
stomped silently to the door. She unlocked it then started the
requisite heroics needed to actually open it.

After a couple of minutes of puffing and panting and tugging with one
hand while holding her shirt closed with the other a silky smooth
voice said. "Please, allow me."

Startled she dropped back fom the door and with a sharp kick the
Goblin King freed it from the jam and it swung open. He stepped inside
and closed it with an equally hard kick.

"Whatever would you do in an emergency?" he remarked.

"Um... use the front door?"

He gave her a wry look then looked down a little and actually blushed.
"Do you normally expose yourself to complete strangers?" he asked,
trying to keep his usual sophisticated demeanour.

She looked momentarily confused then realised she had let go of her
shirt and it was hanging open. "Oh!" she thought a moment.
"Actually... yes. If my webpage is anything to go by." She went over
and switched on the standard light, opening the curtains left precious
little privacy from her landlord. "Besides," she sat down on the
futon. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

Jareth sighed and sat down in the armchair. "You lot really are
impossible," he said to no-one in particular. "That was just a story,
you wrote it remember. It's not real," he said slowly to Amethyst.

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"It is..." he suddenly become aware that he was practically nose to
nose with her. "Not," he finished more calmly. "And that is not going
to work."

"What isn't?" she asked innocently.

"The whole argument leads to passionate kissing cliche."

"Why Jareth, whatever put that in your head?" she purred.

He closed his eyes and took a long slow breath. "You know once upon a
time women weren't interested in sex," he muttered. "And there was
this strange concept known as modesty."

"What, don't tell me you can't cope with a little nudity!" She stood
up and dropped the shirt. "Are you trying to tell me The Goblin King
can't control himself just cause a little flesh is showing?"

He studied his nails closely. "Just, please, put some clothes on!" he
said through gritted teeth.

"Oh all right, but only cause you asked nicely." She disappeared into
the bedroom and came back a few minutes later in a wool tunic that
gaped too much in front and was far too short for comfort. She opened
the curtains, letting the sunshine in. "Is that better, my Lord?" she
asked with a curtsey.

He sighed in resignation and put a cushion in his lap. "Not really,
but let's just get on with this."

She frowned, "Speaking of which, you haven't actually told me what
this is."

"You mean you don't know?"

"Should I?" she perched on the futon next to the chair he was sitting
on and he edged nervously away.

"Never mind. I have, for reasons I find hard to recall, decided to
grant each of the 'Listians' one wish each. So what is your wish?"

"Oh!" she said brightly. "That's nice. Any rules?"

"Thank you," he said, gratified. "The rules are no wishing to sleep
with me..."

"You mean people actually tried to do that?"

He looked surprised. "Well, yes. Wouldn't you?"

"Of course not!"

He looked rather hurt at that.

"It's hardly polite, in fact it's practically rape."

He looked startled, he hadn't thought about it that way.

"And besides, I'd rather sleep with you because you wanted to sleep
with me," she added with a knowing look at the cushion in his lap.

He felt himself flushing, and felt distinctly unlike the all powerful
Goblin King. "Let's just leave sex out of it altogether," he said
firmly.

"If you say so," she said. "So, any other rules?"

"It has to be a selfish wish, other than that, just the usual stuff,"
he said. "No raising from the dead, no making people fall in love with
you, etcetera etcetera." A thought struck him. "Oh, and no wishing for
more wishes." If only he'd said that right at the start, though she'd
be pretty mad when she realised that wasn't a real rule. But by then
it would be too late.

"Okay." She looked thoughtful. "A selfish wish..." She kneeled up and
looked out the window, the shoulder of her tunic started to slip down.

Behind her Jareth bit slowly into his finger, nearly drawing blood.
She is a boring, predictable, stupid human with a ridiculous Labyrinth
obsession, he told himself. And I am absolutely not attracted to her!

She turned round. "Got it," she said.

"Huh?" he refocussed from her chest to her face.

"I wish for total control over the ability to instantly alter my
physical body in any way just by actively thinking about it without
causing myself harm or pain; and that means physical appearance,
physical health, lung capacity, vocal chords... everything. It means I

can do anything from making my hair green to hitting a perfect top C
to curing myself of cancer. And you don't get much more selfish than
that. Is it a deal?"

"Well... I... " he tried to think of someway to twist the wish to get
her back for the fact that he was forced to sit with a cushion in his
lap. But couldn't. It was so hard to think straight with a hard on.
"Your wish is granted," he conceded. He stood up to leave.

"Can I have my cushion back?" she asked innocently.

He glowered at her.

Now it was her turn to sigh in exasperation. She walked up and plucked
the cushion from his grasp. "I don't know what you're being so silly
about. Your the one that will insist on wearing tights and it's not
like we women don't know what's in there and what it does. It's quid
pro quo, we have uncontrollable periods and you have uncontrollable
genitalia."

"I really do have to go you know, there are other people on the list
still to visit."

"Am I stopping you? I just wanted my cushion back, I only have two you
know. You know you're far more easily flustered than I expected. I
thought you were the 'sweep 'em off their feet and take what you want'
type."

"Well, it's not that simple!" he complained. "This is a family list
you know and if I sleep with one of you then everyone else will start
writing about it happening to them and then where am I. The local
bicycle who spends more time between the sheets than being King. It
just wouldn't do, the whole kingdom would go to rack and ruin, I'd be
like Barbarella in tights!"

Amethyst laughed at the image. "Just remember what you told me," she
said. "It's just a story, it's not real."

"That's all very well for you to say, you don't have every writer on
the block using your character without asking."

"Poor baby, serves you right for letting yourself get sucked into
these meta stories. Now at least give me a kiss goodbye."

"Well, all right. But just this once."

A good twenty minutes later a rather flushed and dishevelled Jareth
exited and headed in the direction of the next list member. Inside
Amethyst reclined on the futon licking her lips like the cat who got
the cream.

--
Amethyst - http://www.jadzia.demon.co.uk/
Creator of the Labyrinth mailing list and alt.movies.labyrinth
Co-maintainer of the Labyrinth Fan-Fiction Archive
"Is this what you're looking for? Such a lot of trouble over such a little thing"

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: sma25@juno.com (Stephanie M Albright)
Date: Mon, 9 Mar 1998 16:16:56 -0600

Okay, the last one for me.
Foxglove /\ /\
\/

*********************

Foxglove was sitting in the computer room when she hear this tapping on
the window.
'Not again,' she thought. She picked up a heavy table leg and looked out
of the window. An owl was sitting on the edge.

As Foxglove opened the window she said "About time hair boy!"

Jareth appeared and looked at Foxglove insulted. "I have others to grant
wishes for, Foxglove! Now hurry up with your wish."

Foxglove sat down in the chair and stared at Jareth. He just sighed.

"No, I don't want to have sex with you!" she said, rolling her eyes.
"Far from it."

"Well, what is your wish?"

Foxglove cocked her head to the side and studied Jareth. "I have thought
long and hard, okay, so it was two days. But I know what I want. Do not
interrupt me, okay? Or the 'the' thing might come up again."

Jareth's eyes widened. "No!"

Foxglove smiled. "Okay, here it is. I wish I could morph into any
animal I want without pain, with *all* of the anatomy and physiology of
that animal, and at anytime I want but I want to be able to change *back*
anytime I want to and I don't want myself changing when I get mad, sad,
depressed, or anything like that and when I change back I want to look
like my old self. Selfish enough for ya?"

Jareth sighed and produced a crystal. "Fine, so be it." The crystal
spun and Foxglove got dizzy. When the world stopped spinning Jareth was
gone and she felt a little funny. She just smile and thought of being a
wolf.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: porlock@juno.com (b d holmes)
Date: Mon, 9 Mar 1998 19:09:17 -0500

"five hundred dollars for a board game?? that's effing outrageous!"
i hollered at the dumb face of my monitor, which made not a motion to
disagree.
the online auction i frequented had mysteriously begun to attract a
rather impressive amount of labyrinth merchandise in the few months since
i had arrived on the scene. like rats i half-suspected these sellers to
be, in their ability to sniff out a killing; like rats in their cunning,
yes, and their congregating, and quick on the draw, like rats -- but
entirely unlike rats in their instinct to come out when the crowds were
at their peak, and the light at its brightest. in that capacity they
seemed more like predators than scavengers, attacking those unfortunates
with the deep obsessions and the deeper pockets -- unsavory thoughts
these, any way you chew on them, and presently i was gnawing them to
bloody death.
that was when i saw the owl.
the aforementioned was perching placidly near the top of my
*platanus occidentalis*; american sycamore, doing its business and trying
to look unconcerned about it. now this event, in and of itself, would not
have been enough to cause me to think anything unusual was afoot. (you
may howl at my lack of perception but i am merely telling it like it is.)
nor was my awareness increased when this beast of the air turned to look
at me and i observed his cheeks (such as exist on such a creature) to
turn a distinctly crimson shade. after all, thousands of birds just like
this one do their business every day, and, as i do not pretend to be any
great observer of wildlife, who am i to say that thousands of birds do
not also blush on finding themselves *les objets du le moment*? no, my
perception of the situation was not significantly altered till, having
completed its task, the owl descended and made as if to come inside. you
may well imagine i was somewhat taken aback, but as the owl proceeded to
undertake some motions constituting an elaborately constructed and well
thought out pantomime which any foreigner would understand to be dumb
show for "let me in" i consigned all will to the amazing beast and
assented at last and with a good will to open my home to it.
the first thing it did thereupon was transform into a well-hung
english gentleman with distinctly drag-queen esthetics, or such was my
first impression of him. i felt a leaping in my womb, or a knocking at my
ribs, one or the other, and our mouths fell open in unison. his spoke.
"i owe you a debt of gratitude, my friend. after a
milliontwentyonejillion fanfics and a motion picture, you have *no* idea
what a freeing experience i've just had out there. i *really* owe you one
this time."
before we continue any further, let me explain who this personage
was and on what basis was founded this manner of familiarity in which he
addressed me. of course you'll say, "why, it's jareth, the goblin king;
we all know that -- phooey with your digressions and on with the story!"
well, you'd be only half-right; for the figure which now
stood in my dinette thanking me warmly for service immeasurable and
casting captivated glances toward the crystal chandelier -- this figure
was none other than Young at Heart jareth, from the second installment of
my *jareth, my jareth* fanfic, *escape to the heart of the labyrinth* in
the chapter entitled "return of the gentry". i only say so, so that you,
discerning and gentle reader, may make the distinction between this
particular jareth and any number of other jareths i may have portrayed in
the past, including Eternally Bitter jareth, Big Ol' Softy jareth, Father
Figure jareth, and Casual Tennis Wear jareth.
on with the story.
as i was saying, jareth was on his knees to me - in a manner of
speaking -, when i noticed something was amiss. however great my
curiosity and my desire to keep the moment sacred, as it were, my sense
of friendly concern was greater and i piped up.
"jareth-- dear me but you look like horse pockey."
he winced as i made the declaration and i was afraid for one second
i'd hurt his feelings.
"please don't say that," he entreated.
"say what?" said i, "don't say pockey!" he returned, rather
irritably, and i decided to let it settle at that.
at length, after a few comfy highballs and some engaging discussion
about "the good old days" tempered with "this current state of affairs",
my jareth decided the time had come to make good on his promise. visibly
he settled into routine and all became quite still and silent as he
magically produced a crystal the size and shape of a cue ball on the tips
of his nimble fingers.
i took the cue. "what is it?"
"it's a crystal; nothing more. but if you turn it this way it will
-- it will.." he faltered. "damn! i can never remember that line."
"it will give you a wish?" i suggested.
"yes, that's the essence of it -- it will give you one wish."
"listen," --this part was requisite-- "it's not that i don't
appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but.. from what i've seen,
accepting one of your wishes is inviting catastrophe -- or casual sex.
thanks, but no thanks."
"doppel -- this is not a gift for an ordinary - uh.." jareth
appeared to be noticing me for the first time, "..boy or girl, who nurses
a screaming addiction to overpriced labyrinth memora-- memorium--
marmala-- stuff."
the banter continued for some time, remaining, as it was, very
superficial, while on a deeper level the goblin king and i tried to
picture each other with mustaches. at length i laughed and shook his hand
and soon we were waving goodbye as my friend, having assumed his
erstwhile avian form, soared off into the friendly skies.
so now i had this crystal. what to do with it? i tried to think back
to the beginning of the story, before jareth, before the owl -- and all
of a sudden i had it! stepping with triumphant gait and beaming face back
to my computer i held the little crystal ball aloft and proclaimed in a
voice aquiver with passion, "--i wish all those plundering buggers at
auction would give up trying to oust me!"
the ball, with a little climactic yelp, burst asunder and filled the
air with a shower of glittery bits and a permeating and delicious smell
of exultation (if you've never smelled exultation before, i'm afraid it
won't be much help to try and describe it here.) i was transported, at
that moment, to a place beyond all earthly sorrow; beyond pecuniary debt;
beyond erogenous zones, and into a private elysium where the caretakers
are angels and the world below is seen through glass colored roses
darkly. i sang to sweet strains of ecstacy which, reverberating from
hillside to hillside, stretched them out into a canvas over the celestial
ether and painted the sound of my happiness -- borrowing of the planets'
sundry muses for spirit and texture, and of all heaven's magnificent
palette for color and light. all too shortly, however, reality bade me in
its still small voice 'remember' and descend from the heavenly places and
so i did, yet scanning the terrestrial horizon in blissful anticipation
of my promised land. odysseus could not have looked upon his home with a
lightness of heart to match my own. 'after all,' i thought to myself,
'cannot a rat be tamed, and made to eat from its master's palm? cannot
honey be extracted from the hide of the lion?' with these happy thoughts
foremost in my head i submitted my search request. i waited.
ah! i am rewarded: here is a message:

Alert! : HTTP/1.1 503 Server Busy_

i rose before the glass and colored darkly.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: To Wish Upon A Goblin King (Pale Jewel Revisited)
From: PaleJewel1 <PaleJewel1@aol.com>
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 1998 01:11:48 EST

The room was still shrouded in darkness. The only light was the glow fro=
m the
computer monitor. A lone figure was hunched over the keyboard, fingers
flying across the buttons. Every once in a while she would chuckle quiet=
ly,
or
blurt out "Serves you right you ----". Pale Jewel had been working on th=
is
fanfic for two days straight now. Ever since the Goblin King had come to=
her
with the promise of a wish fulfilled, only to twist it to his own purpose=
s.

It had seemed so simple. A wish. Nothing big. But something selfish. =
She
should have known better than to trust a rogue like Jareth. Still, he wa=
s
quite
enchanting, and pleasant to look at. And he could sing...

Her wish had been inspired by his comment that she no longer wrote fanfic=
tion
dedicated to his almighty self. It had hit a nerve with her, and all sor=
ts of
anger
and resentment towards the time constraints of school had bubbled up unti=
l she
had challenged him to do her schoolwork for her, ostensibly so she could =
have
some time to write. =20

It was supposed to be soo easy. But then he had warped it by insisting t=
hat
taking an exam and studying for an exam were two different things. And s=
he
hadn=92t wished for him to study anything! How beautifully cruel he was.=
And
still Pale Jewel was intrigued by him. Why she would never know.

But Pale Jewel had found a manner of retribution that would hit the Gobli=
n
King right in those sexy blue tights of his! His ego. Oooh, it really w=
as
too
divine! This revenge would be sooo sweet. A thoroughly crushing blow to=
his,
er, magnitude: The loss of his voice. Followed shortly by the loss of hi=
s
regal
bearing. By the time she was through with him, he would be nothing more
than a crumpled, wrinkled mass of...

=93STOP!=94 Came a commanding voice from the corner. =20

Pale Jewel jumped in spite of herself. She pulled back from the desk sli=
ghtly
and turned to face him. She recovered quickly.

=93But Jareth,=94 she said sweetly, her lashes batting over her blue eyes=
, =93You
wanted me to write more about you. So I am.=94 she said innocently.

Jareth stepped closer to her, his eyes glinting like chips of steel. He =
wore
a
different black cloak this time. It swirled around him gracefully, almos=
t as
if
dancing, the soft sound of silk brushing against silk reached her ears. =
He
regarded her with his hands placed belligerently upon his hips.

=93My lovely Jewel, I have granted your wish, and this is how you thank m=
e? By
destroying my character?=94 he said.

=93Well, it=92s not exactly your character that I=92m playing with now is=
it,
Jareth.=20
You=92ve pretty much done that yourself.=94 she told him.

=93Enough!=94 he spat. =93I=92ll not have that rot flying through electr=
onic realms
reaching heaven knows how many people.=94 he insisted.

=93But Jareth, who=92s going to care about what I=92ve written?=94 she as=
ked him, her
left hand held out in entreaty. =93It=92s such a little thing, no one wi=
ll notice
at all=94
she insisted, trying to keep his attention, all the while smiling a lovel=
y
evil smile,
and slowly, imperceptibly placing her right index finger on the send key.

Jareth=92s eyes held hers as he tried to measure her motivations. He kne=
w she
was being needlessly obsequious, but he wasn=92t quite sure what she was =
up to.

=93Besides, there isn=92t much you can do to stop it!=94 she told him col=
dly, =93On
press of this little button, and it=92s out there for the world to see!=94

Jareth=92s eyes darted to her delicate finger placed so threateningly on =
the
keyboard. He raised a hand as if to produce a crystal.

=93Ah, Ah ahhhhh! None of that!=94 Pale Jewel warned him, =93You keep yo=
ur
hands at your sides. You wouldn=92t be fast enough to stop me anyway.=94

He was silent for a long frightening moment. His eyes scanned the room, =
but
they weren=92t really seeing what was there. He seemed to be considering=
his
next move. Pale Jewel feared he may have means of conjuring that didn=92t
involve his hands. Eventually his gaze returned to her.

=93So, then. What is it you want?=94 he asked her quietly. Pale Jewel l=
ooked at
him for a moment, considering his question.

=93I don=92t want you to take my exams for me.=94 she told him.

=93You want to undo your wish?=94 he asked incredulously.

=93Yes, exactly. It was a trick anyway, not worth anything, so yes, I wa=
nt you
to
undo the wish.=94 she told him.

=93Done!=94 he exclaimed, =91Now, step away like a good girl and let me d=
elete that
piece of ...=94 he struggled for a fitting word, and seeing that she her
eyebrows
raise at his tone, settled on a less inflammatory word than he had been
thinking
of using, =93...work.=94 he demanded.

=93Not so fast, handsome. It=92s Sunday, actually, it=92s early Monday m=
orning, and
the first exam is tonight. I haven=92t had time to study since you left.=
I
need time
re-altered. You=92re good at that, aren=92t you? I need you to give me =
those two
days back.=94 she insisted.

=93I can only alter time in my own realm.=94 He told her. She moved clos=
er to the
keyboard, and he hastily added, =93But, I can create a sort of diversion =
that
might
give you the time you need.=94

=93How?=94 she asked suspiciously.

=93Well, perhaps an unfortunate occurrence at the school, you know, the b=
uilding
collapsing or something.=94 he suggested.

=93NO! how horrible. Forget that idea!=94 she ordered him.

He sighed dramatically, and paced the floor in front of her.

She watched him warily, not trusting him one inch, yet still, undeniably
attracted to him. She chased those thoughts from her head. He wasn=92t
interested in any of the list members=92 desires. Except to feed off of =
them.

=93A snowstorm.=94 he announced abruptly. She blinked twice. A snowstor=
m?=20
She mulled that over.

=93It would have to be one heck of a storm to get them to close that scho=
ol. It
never closes because of weather.=94 she told him. =93Besides, it=92s Spr=
ing out
there.=20
Warm, sunny, my crocus and tulips are already up! The rhodedendron is re=
ady
to bloom. It=92s too late for a winter storm.=94 she told him. He just =
smiled
that
wicked little smile, teeth barred ever so slightly, eyes narrowed to the =
point
of
being closed.

=93Okay.=94 She conceded. =93Do it. But it had better be good, and it h=
ad better
work or the whole internet is going to see this piece!=94 she threatened.

Jareth looked down his nose at her. A threat? to him? how droll, he see=
med
to
be thinking.

=93It=92s done.=94 he proclaimed, and at that moment, the room lit up fro=
m a
lightening bolt, followed by a huge clap of thunder. Pale Jewel looked
anxiously out her window. The heavens themselves had opened up, and it w=
as
pouring rain. The wind whipped tree branches into a fury.

=93Jareth,=94 she said, =93This isn=92t snow...=94 but as she turned to s=
peak to him,
she
saw he was gone. She grumbled again about the dangers of trusting a wayw=
ard
Goblin King, and sat back down at her computer. =20

Disheartened, she signed onto AOL, wanting to write to her friend, and fe=
llow
listian, Anna, about this second visitation. The modem connected, and th=
e
welcoming screen popped up. The first thing that hit her eyes was the lo=
cal
storm warning.

=93Expected 9 to 12 inches of snow by mid morning..=94 flashed across the=
screen.=20
Pale Jewel went to take another look out the window, and sure enough, the=
rain
had turned to snow. And it was falling at an unprecedented rate. She sm=
iled
and sat back down at her computer. After dashing off a quick note, she s=
igned
off and returned to her word processing program. The unfinished story sa=
t
before her eyes, daring her to finish it. Without another thought, she h=
it
the
delete key, and it vanished into darkness.

**************************************************************
Now you all now why we had such a horrible storm here in the Midwest toda=
y,
and why my final exam was postponed until next week. *winks*

Sweet Peach and British-Accented Dreams To You All
Pale Jewel

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King
From: AventE <AventE@aol.com>
Date: Tue, 10 Mar 1998 19:49:07 EST

I sat at my desk with my chin in my hands and my elbows propped up on my
knees, staring in distress at the computer screen. If only I'd checked my
mail a little earlier and replied, maybe Jareth would've realized that I just
joined the list and deign to pay me a visit.
Sighing, I switched off the computer and pushed my chair back . . . and
twisted around suddenly at a slight "ahem" behind me.
I don't think I need to say who was standing there. It did take me a few
minutes, however, to realize this wasn't just some apparition caused by too
little sleep and too many tests in one week (and it's only Tuesday).
"Jareth?" I squeaked inaudibly.
"I beg your pardon?" He stopped tossing a crystal in his hand and looked at
me more closely.
I tried again. "Jareth!" I launched myself out of my chair, knocking it
over, and gracefully catching my leg on it so that instead of falling into the
Goblin King's arms, I fell at his feet.
He backed up a step, uncertain whether to be concerned or amused. And, as
was usually the case, he decided amusement was more appropriate.
I stood up, red-faced, and snapped, "Well it's about time you got here!"
"Well, by the time I realized I'd you were a Listian, I absolutely had to
have some sleep. I just woke up; is that soon enough for you?"
"Well . . ." I said, somewhat pacified, and sat on the bed. "Do I get my
wish now?"
He sighed. "Is that all you humans ever think about? Don't you want to
worship my supreme presence first?"
"I've done that for the past 4 years, and you never were here to appreciate
it. About my wishes ..."
"Well, go ahead."
"Sit down," I said, patting the bed beside me. "Make yourself comfortable."
"It doesn't take that long to make one wish, does it?" he complained.
"And here I though Sarah was the whiner! Anyway, I'm using my wish to wish
for two more wishes-"
"No more of that!"
"Oh, come on. I"m your last stop. I wish for two more wishes with my first
wish, and as for those two wishes, I wish that I'd be able to call you here
anytime I wanted to talk or take me places or . . . whatever else my mind
could devise at the moment."
"But-"
"No buts. That's my first wish. You're not going to get me to change my
mind."
"Well, alright, but only if I'm not busy."
"The second wish is that you would stay here right now and talk to me for
an hour."
Jareth groaned. "Whatever possessed me to start all this in the first
place?"
"And make it intelligent conversation mind you. I don't count reading the
dictionary as talking."
"Very well," he sighed. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Hmm. There is an awful lot, but I think we'll start with . . ."

***********************************************************
No more evesdropping, fellow Listians! Jareth's mine for the next hour *grin*
Peaches to all of you, Emily

========
To: Labyrinth fanfic <labyfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: When you wish upon a goblin king...
From: Dreamspinner@twilightrealm.com
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 1998 21:12:34 -0600

*Disclaimer*- the character of Jareth belongs to Henson, Inc.(usual
disclaimer type thingie here). All other story elements, characters, etc.
belong to Dreamspinner (copyright 1997).

;-D!

Dreamspinner sighed as she carefully took yet another weaving from
her Loom and sent it onward to its proper destination. She called her
scrying crystal to her and was totally amazed by what she found.
"Wishes? Hmmm..." she started to read all the sordid tales of wishes
gone awry, wishes gone right, and wishes wished in general. A few deep
chuckles did escape her over some of the escapades. What lovely, vivid
imaginations! She smiled as she watched, deeply interested in what her
crystal had to show her. A slight cough from behind her made her
reluctantly turn her gaze from the crystal, and she noted the goblin
king was now standing there.
"Well, Bright One? What do you wish?" he asked as he flopped down
into the chair by the hearth. She turned in her seat to face him with a
thoughtful expression on her palely luminous features.
"A wish? For me?" she asked, her head tilted to the side almost in
what almost seemed to be confusion. The unspoken 'whatever for?' hung in
the air between them.
Jareth smiled and said, "Of course. Think of a good one. Something
fun." Her thoughtful expression deepened as her sight turned
inward...Jareth began to become alarmed when she sat silent for a long
time. Suddenly, she was back in her realm.
"Nothing. I can make my own wishes without you, and you know it. What
need have I for one of yours?" she smiled to take the edge from her
words. He shifted about in his seat and sulked.
"Not even a little wish? Surely..." he trailed off as he saw
Gwydion, Dreamspinner's husband, striding in the door. The Lord of the
Wild Hunt frowned deeply at the goblin king as he placed his gloves and
antlered helm upon the table.
"Well, Trickster? What do you want?" he said in evenly measured
tones. Dreamspinner smiled warmly at her husband.
"He wanted to give me a wish." she raised an eyebrow, and so did her
husband. They exchanged a few thoughts between themselves, and Jareth
felt a bit nervous at being left out of their private communication.
"Ah. I see. And..?" Gwydion's deeply musical voice caught Finn's
attention, and the elfin bard walked into the cottage too. Finn smiled
at Dreamspinner and crossed to sit next to her.
"A wish? From that one?" Finn smiled mischievously as he indicated
the goblin king, "I would not accept it. Bad karma." He threw an arm
about her shoulders and outright stared in innocent fascination at an
uncomfortable Jareth. Several more members of the Hunt entered the
cottage, and they sat all around in the generously sized living room.
Jareth began to perspire...an audience? He shrank lower into the large
wing backed chair. This was *not* what he had in mind...
"Fly home, little owl...I need nothing from you. I have all I could
ever desire here in my own realm." Dreamspinner said sweetly. Gwydion
chuckled and sat down on the other side of his wife, placing a
possessive arm about her waist.
Jareth sighed in defeat, knowing the truth when he heard it. "Very
well." he said in a depressed tone as he rose from the chair to leave.
"Oh, Jareth..." Dreamspinner singsonged, causing him to turn just as
he was about to go out the door, "I wish *you* dreams of joy..." he
almost hit himself because he should have seen that one coming. He
smiled and shook his head, then transformed to take to the air to return
to his own realm. The huntsmen's amused laughter followed him out of the
cottage and into the pleasant night.

========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Well..."When in the Labyrinth, Do as the Labyrinthians do."
From: "The Daley's" <aprilpd@netdoor.com>
Date: Sat, 14 Mar 98 01:08:48 PST

Anakerie(as well as many others)informed me that while I was gone...Jareth
came to each house and granted a wish. Ugh, How could I have missed that!?I
really want my wish so...........btw, this got a little long!;)---

"How I Got a Wish from Fluffykins"

The midnight chime ran throughout the house, causing the old grandfather
clock to vibrate where it stood. I was still sitting in front of the
computer in my way-too-cramped bedroom, mulling through a few messages from
the list and otherwise. I was still happy to be back, I mean...who
wouldn't miss being beaned by peaches, bombarded by stories of the
Labyrinthian persuasion, and realizing how nuts people around the world
could be. However, lately I'd been feeling...well...less than "Teenspirit".
I had been in that deep kind of void where you don't want to get out of
bed, and yet...you don't feel like sleeping either. In short, I was feeling
like a peach without it's pit, so to speak.
Finally, clicking off the computer and monitor, I creeped wearily into
my bed. I kicked off my worn out white Keds and laid my head back on my
faithful pillow. That's when I heard it. First, it was just a slight
pecking noise. Like something hitting the window with something sharp.
Half asleep, I tried to ignore it at first...I figured that a tree
branch was just hitting the window. Suddenly a realization hit me and I sat
up in my bed,"Wait a minute...I don't *have* a tree outside my window!"
I crept back out of bed and edged towards the noise cautiously.
"Hellooo..."I whispered quietly(as if anyone would answer)I grabbed my
soft ball league bat and held it to my side for protection. I neared
another inch, just as the window burst open with a flare of glitter.
Not thinking correctly(It was really late)I charged the intruder full
force, putting the baseball bat in front of me. I couldn't see a thing, but
I could hear a big "OUMPH!" and then a crash as the figure plummeted to the
floor in a heap.
"Hey....you...get out of this room before I scream for -m-mmmy
parents!"I pleaded pathetically.
The figure rose off the floor and stood up with the moonlight
illuminating him, allowing me to see him.
"OhmagodyourthegoblinkingJareth!"I said quickly in a state of shock.
"Pardon?"he said as he brushed off his jacket, trying his best to
regain his diginity and composure.
"I mean..."I caught my breath and slowed down,"You are
Jareth...right?Is this a hoax?Oh no...this is Candid Camera, isn't it?"I
pushed the king out of the way and looked out the window.
"I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THEREEE!!COME ON OUTT!!"I screamed at the top of my
lungs, searching my yard for a hidden cameraman.
Jareth sighed wearily and sat down at my computer. "When you get
through screaming like a banshee, dear, please shut the window and sit
down."
I pivoted around on shaky knees with my mouth gaping. "That haughty
voice...that incredible arrogance...that hair...IT IS YOU JARETH, IT'S
REALLY YOU!"
"No kidding,"he drawled as he adjusted the leather glove on his hand.
I smiled weakly, suddenly quite aware of how I looked. I was wearing one
sock(having lost the other while getting out of bed)my outfit was a long
wore-out Aerosmith t-shirt that seen better days, and my hair was a cross
between barbwire and what you find in your bathroom sink.
"ahem.."he muttered, motioning for me to say something.
"I..uh...why are you here anyway?I don't have any little brothers or
sisters....I have some older ones though...want them?"I grinned, thinking
about my sister's reaction to someone with better hair than her.
"That's alright, I'd rather not. But there is some business I must tend
to-"he was cut off as we both heard my parents padding up the stairs and
towards my room.
"Oh CRAPPP!Augh, shitty shitty bang bang!"I hissed, looking around for a
place to the tall man to hide.
"What's the matter this time?"he asked in exasperation.
"Guess!I mean, come on...how do I explain why a grown man with leggings
on, is in my bedroom!"
The goblin king smiled faintly and remained sitting.
"You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you!"I growled.
"No, no...I came to give you a wish. Like I did for all your other
little friends...now what do you wish?I can't leave until you make the
wish."
I put a hand to my head, thinking hard. "Wow.."I mumbled,"a wish of my
own..."
Suddenly I could hear my dad's voice.
"You okay in there?"
"I'm fine!"I called nervously, motioning for Jareth to disappear a
second. He crossed his arms and smiled smugly.
I heard the patter of feet as my dad closened to my door.
In a fit of utter psychotic nervousness, I ran to Jareth, grabbed him by
the velvet clad arm, and dragged him across the room.
"There!"I hissed, pointing to the space beneath the bed.
"I will not!"he said, turning up his nose at the thought of getting on
his knees and wrinkling his best clothes.
"Fine.."I mumbled. Without hesitation(well...maybe a little;)I swiped
at the back of his knees with my leg. He collapsed to the floor, giving me
a chance to shove him under my bed(it wasn't easy as it sounds actually..)
Standing up straight, my dad walked in at that second.
"What are you doing up this late anyway?"my dad asked, yawning.
"Oh..um...reading mail and...stuff."
He sighed and scratched at his head a moment,"You know....you
shouldn't get carried away with that fantasy stuff."
"Right, dad."
"Well...goodnight..."he closed the door behind him.
I looked down to see a varily teed off Jareth staring up at me from
the floor.
"Why you little.."he thought of a proper insult but realized it was
unkingly. So he stood up and straighened his attire the best he could.
"Sorry 'bout that,"I said sheepishly, examining him with my wide eyes.
I had to say it,"How can you be real...I thought David Bowie played you in
a movie."
"Dear,"his smile returned briefly,"Dreams are sometimes more real than
the dreamer."
"Whoa, cryptic."
"I know.....thought of it myself,"he turned his back to me and looked
out at the moon in the sky,"So?"
"So..what?"
"Your wish...what is it?I haven't got all night..."
"Oh..you have plans then..gonna go bar-hopping?"I asked jokingly.
He turned to me and arched up his eyebrows,"You damned listians sure
are odd creatures. Badgering me, shoving me....hell, I was just trying to
do something nice for once. BUT NOOO...."he put out his bottom lip, causing
me to burst out laughing.
"Come now...if you're anything like you were in the movie...you
would have a 'hidden' agenda to all this wish giving."
"Who, me?"he asked, putting a hand to his chest.
"No, fluffykins, I meant Hogshell..who else?"I held in a laugh as
his eyes bulged out.
"Fluffykins?F-L-U-F-F-Y-K-I-N-S!"his eyebrows practically shot off his
head.
"Sorry...It's the night getting to me..so...I guess I better make that
wish."
"Oh..yes......"he mouthed Fluffykins one more time to himself in
horror and then returned his attention,"Well?"
I sat down in my chair and contemplated what I'd wish for.
"Well.......what is it?"he tapped his foot against the floor.
"Give me a moment."
"Hmmm..."he checked a watch that wasn't there,"Okay..moment's
up.What's your wish...."
"Are you always this impatient or am I just lucky?"
He smirked and sat down himself to wait.
Soon, all that could be heard in the room was the constant 'tick tick'
of the clock. My mind was a mess....what should I wish for?A car?A million
billion bucks?A reealllly cool peach-colored towel? Finally, I realized
what I should wish for.
"Ohhh, Jareth,"I called. I looked over and realized he'd fallen asleep.
I stood up and nudged him in the shoulder.
"Huh-wha?"He mumbled trying to wake up.
"I've decided what I want to wish for..."I stepped forward and
whispered it in his ear.
His eyes brightened and he smiled."Very well then,"he pulled a crystal
from thin air and set it twirling on his finger. Then he blew on it softly
and it popped like a soap bubble. I smiled and he smiled too, bubbles
really bond people ya' know.
"And so it will be granted, dear,"he turned away and walked to the open
window,"See you in your dreams..."
A flash of white later and the only thing I saw was a beautiful barn
owl flying out into the night air.
"Thanks Fluffykins,"I smiled,"Thanks for everything."

* * *

Blue-jay's whistling and chirping woke me and I looked around in a
state of confusion...trying to remember what happened last night and if it
was real. I touched my forehead with my hand then ran my fingers through my
hair.
I stood up and walked over to the full length mirror, pressing my palms
against the cool glass.
"Was it real?"I mumbled aloud, turning my back to the mirror.
"Cor. Course it was,Missy."
I whirled around and gasped with joy,"Hogglie!"
He started to correct me but Sir Didymus interrupted,"M'Lady!It is I,
your knight in shining armour...how are thee this fine morning?"
Ludo's face appeared in the mirror too.
"APPPWILLLL?APPPWILLL AWAKE?"
I could feel tears of joy filling my eyes.
"I've always wanted to have the ability to call on such true friends, to
have friends when I really needed them in my life....and...Jareth did it.
He gave me my wish."
Ludo looked confused,"APPWILL CRYINGG?"
I held back a sob of laughter and smiled.
Hoggle raised his hand and smiled himself,"So little Missy...what's say
we have a little celebration?"
"No...not a little celebration.."I started, watching their faces fall,
"A HUGE celebration!!"
I turned around and knew they were there, they'd always be there for
me. I smiled and ran to hug Ludo, Didymus, and Hoggle. The fieries, I
noticed, had decided to entertain themselves with my teddybear
collection(pulled quite a few of their heads of actually..)the goblins were
jumping up and down in excitement. I could feel happiness surge through me
like a wave of warmth.
"Guys...I..I..."I closed my eyes and wiped away the tears,"I don't think
I'll be sad anymore."
"I'm sure of that,"came a deep voice from the window.
My mouth gaped again.
"Jareth?"
"I couldn't let another party happen without attending.."he trailed off
and I surprised him by running up to hug him.
"Your welcome,"he said, arching an eyebrow.
I bit my lip, stopping myself from laughing...I'd gotten an idea. I
ran over to my radio and popped in my old Chumbawumba "Tubthumping" tape.
As the music pumped through the air, Jareth's lips curved up in humor and
his eyebrow remained arched.
"Let's party, guys!"I shouted, picking up a pillow and throwing it into
the air.
The labyrinthian creatures wasted no time in enjoying the
chaos....wrecking my room completely. But I didn't really care about my
room much anymore.
I turned to Jareth, who still stood in one place.
"Well?"I mocked him, trying my best to imitate his voice.
"Well what?"
"Wanna dance?"
He pointed his finger to the radio that boomed with noise,"Dance to
that?"
I walked over to Jareth and placed a hand on his shoulder,"What...you
don't like my music?"
He faked a sneer and cocked his head back,"Well...it's certainly not
equal to my singing...and it's not very easy to dance to..."
I laughed and shook my head,"I agree on the first part...but Jareth,
this is THE dance song. Come on...just get loose!"
The goblin king sighed and attempted to dance like I was(which was
basically just jumping up and down shouting,"I get knocked down..but I get
up again..cause ya' never gonna keep me down!")
I fell over laughing from watching him....but I didn't care if he saw me
acting stupid...he was kinda like a friend now. And I knew he'd get the
hang of the dance eventually...I was expecting lots of celebrations. I only
hoped my parents would agree to putting in sound-proof walls.

* * *

Peaches and Kiwis,
April~