========
To: Fanfic - Labyrinth <labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com>
Subject: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Kitty <kittyw@gte.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 16:17:27 -0400
This is a new round robin, I hope you like it!
-----
I was sitting at my computer and becoming increasingly frustrated over a
problem I was having with Windows 95 when I heard a noise behind me. It
sounded like the rustling of a certain Goblin Kings cape. I sighed
loudly and turned around.
Jareth smiled sweetly, too sweetly, and said, "Hello, little night owl,
how are you this fine, stormy evening?"
I rolled my eyes. "I am sick of all this rain! What do you want now?"
Jareth sat down in that ridiculous empty chair that always seems to be
next to me when he shows up.
"You sound a bit tense. Perhaps you should take one of those hot bubble
baths you enjoy so much." He gave me a little smirk as he said it.
"What!?!" I shrieked. "How do you...have you been spying...how dare
you!!!"
Jareth looked down his nose at me and said, "Really, my dear, you should
finish your sentences. Of course I spy on you, I spy on all of you.
You're quite an amusing bunch of oddities."
I stared at him and my mouth must have been hanging open because he
reached up with a gloved finger and pushed my chin up.
"Now then," he said in a more serious tone, "I am in need of your
assistance with a small problem."
I glared at him and said, "If you think I'm going to help you after
finding out that you spy on me when I'm...you are sorely mistaken!"
He took my arm and in a blinding flash of light I was transported to
Jareth's throne room. The place was a disaster, just like in the
movie. Goblins everywhere.
"What the hell?!" I screamed, when I saw where I was.
"Not hell, Underground," he said, rather tersely.
I noticed something new sitting next to his throne. A computer desk! I
looked at him in amazement.
"You have a computer?" I said, with a laugh.
"Just got it. The best I could find. Has everything," he said proudly,
adding an 'I think' under his breath.
"I thought you already had one, considering you've been sending email to
the list lately."
He sighed and explained, "I was using public computers at your Earthly
libraries and universities. But, I grew tired of waiting for the
computer hogs to give it a rest and finally got my own. I tried making
some of the computer hogs disappear, but you have no idea what kind of
commotion that creates. With the way you humans always seem to come up
missing I didn't think anyone would notice one more. Anyway, I've
brought you UNDERGROUND," he emphasized the word, sounding a little
peeved at my earlier exclamation, "because I need help with my computer.
And since you've reformatted your hard drive several times I thought I'd
ask you first."
I didn't quite follow his logic, but, after all he is the Goblin King. I
warily approached the computer. I did this because there were fuzzy
little Goblins crawling all over it. They were banging on the keyboard,
messing with the monitor settings, opening and closing the CD ROM, and
one was sitting on the mouse while another pulled him across the desk.
I looked at Jareth in disbelief. Surely he didn't expect to keep his
computer out here, with the goblins!
"May I suggest you find a...more private place for your computer?" I
said, politely.
Jareth looked surprised, then grinned. "Hmm, you want to work with me in
private? That shouldn't be a problem," he said.
Before I could say anything I found us and the computer in a small room.
No windows, door closed, the only light coming from a torch, and very
private.
"Yeah, ok, um," I stammered as I inspected the computer. "Where do you
plug it in at?" I asked. I felt him standing very close behind me and
knew he was up to no good.
"What do you want me to plug in?" he whispered in my ear.
Trying to ignore how close he was standing I said, "If you want to use
your computer you have to provide it with a source of electrical power
or it won't do a damn thing."
Why was I not surprised when he plugged the power cord into a crystal
ball?
I spent about an hour setting things up and showing him the basics, then
indicated he was on his own and I really had to get home now.
"You haven't shown me how to get on the internet yet," he said. "Your
not going anywhere until I can surf the net and use email."
"You mean you're going to keep me here?" I asked with a tinge of fear.
"Until I'm online, yes," he said, very seriously.
"Fine," I snapped. "Do you have a phone line to Earth?" I asked, a bit
sarcastically. It's amazing what he can do with those crystal balls.
For the next three hours I showed him how to use the internet and email.
I was getting very tired and cranky and told him I really wanted to go
home, now!
"What about chatting? How do you do that?" he said, eagerly. Before I
could answer him an ominous blue screen with white letters popped up on
his monitor. I burst out laughing at the panicked look on his face when
he read the words 'Fatal Exception'.
"Fix it!" he growled, angrily.
"What do you think I am? A god? It died from something fatal, what do
you expect me to do?" I teased. He didn't think it was as funny as I
did. Judging from the look on his face, I decided it would be wise to
reboot the machine. I flipped the power switch off and waited for it to
power down.
Jareth grabbed my arm and yelled, "What are you doing, woman?!"
"Get a grip. I'm just rebooting it is all," I said, trying not to sound
as nervous as I felt. I turned the power back on and sighed in relief as
it booted back up. He insisted I get him back online and I had a wicked
idea. Now if I could just find a harmless little virus to infect his
machine with! Oh the beauty of it, he'd never know it was me who did it.
I just had to figure out how to get rid of him for a few minutes.
To my surprise, a goblin ran into the room screeching unintelligibly.
Jareth yelled at him and threatened him, but it did no good. The little
guy was hysterical and Jareth excused himself.
I quickly found a harmless virus that would appear to wreak havoc on his
machine. Anyone with a little computer knowledge would be able to find
it and disarm it without any trouble. It had a convenient feature that
allowed me to set a countdown timer to activate it. I set it for 13
hours, an appropriate amount of time. I sat and waited for him to
return, laughing to myself about all the trouble he had in store for
him, even without the virus. Everyone who uses Windows 95 eventually
encounters one problem after another. And the more programs he installs,
I thought, the worse it will get.
I grew even sleepier as I waited for him to return and laid my head down
on the desk. I woke up on my sofa, covered with the blanket that is
always hanging around my living room. I looked at the clock and
smiled. Somewhere, in less than 13 hours, another listian would be
summoned to help his majesty with his new computer. I wonder who it
will be?
--
___
,,,(o,o),,, "All that we see or seem
';:`-':;' Is but a dream within a dream"
-"-"- ---Edgar Allan Poe "A Dream Within a Dream"
Visit my websites at http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/1430/
AOL Instant Messenger ID is ni9ht0w1 (9=nine, 0=zero, 1=one)
Chat with me on ICQ #13254998
Pagoo me! 1-888-PAGOO-62 ID#7655674457 or at www.pagoo.com
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: NytAngel98@aol.com
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 18:43:40 EDT
In a message dated 98-06-16 17:23:19 EDT, you write:
<< I grew even sleepier as I waited for him to return and laid my head down
on the desk. I woke up on my sofa, covered with the blanket that is
always hanging around my living room. I looked at the clock and
smiled. Somewhere, in less than 13 hours, another listian would be
summoned to help his majesty with his new computer. I wonder who it
will be? >>
"ANGEL!!" I heard the goblin king's voice ringing through my room.
"Ooooh, you are *sooooo* lucky that I already woke up," I snapped. "Now, I
*am* in somewhat of a hurry, so could you tell me what you need so I can get
on with my life?"
"Well, for one thing, you should get dressed first. Can't have people running
around through the Underground in pajamas," he answered, his voice coming from
directly behind me this time.
I swung around in my computer chair and stood up, pajamas or no, to face him.
He had a smug look on his face, his dark cape swirling around him regardless
of the fact that my room had no wind in it.
"Okay, well, first, I am not changing clothes with you hanging around here.
Oh and yes, I did read Kitty's email about the computer. I can fix it for
you, but first, the clothes Jareth...use a crystal, change them into my usual
wardrobe, there is NO chance in hell I am changing clothes the normal way with
you hanging around," I said calmly.
"Angel, why is it that of all the people on the Laby list, you and Jalen give
me the most trouble?" he asked, sighing, as he threw a crystal at me and, in a
flash of white light, I was transformed into my black leather pants, black
leather boots, and black satin poet's shirt.
"Because we can, cher, because we can," I answered with a smirk, straightening
out my shirt's cuffs and quickly running a brush through my hair.
He looked over my wardrobe and raised an eyebrow.
"Do you...normally...dress like this?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes. "YES," I answered. "Now can we get on with this please?"
Jareth sighed and grabbed my arm. I hadn't even had time to jerk it away from
him before we were in the dark room with the computer, which was going crazy.
Little goblins were running around it and one was whirling around and around
in the chair. I nudged Jareth in the chest with my elbow.
"Jareth, would you mind getting those goblins out of here? They're only
making the computer worse with all their goofing off," I stated.
"Oh yes," he replied. "I believe you're right."
He shooed all the goblins out of the room while I sat down at the chair and
gazed at the monitor. After some mouse clicks, some typing, and some
impatient muttering from Jareth, I'd located the virus.
"Hey Jareth, do you have ANY virus protection software whatsoever?" I asked
over my shoulder, barely containing laughter over how easy it would have been
for my virus program at home to track this one down.
"Virus protection software?" he asked quizzically.
"Yes, Jareth, virus protection software. I tell you what...you go back to my
room and find a blue computer disk labeled 'Virus Protect.' while I fix this,
okay? It'll prevent any other easy viruses like this one from sneaking in. I
can't help you with the more complicated ones though, I'm not exactly a hacker
here," I suggested.
"Very well. But mess up my computer like Kitty did and I'll--"
"Yea yea I know, dip me headfirst into the bog of eternal stench, that's
getting old," I finished for him. "Get going."
Jareth teleported off, muttering what kind of a world this is where a mortal
girls gives him of all people orders. I quickly got to work altering Kitty's
virus with the one virus trick I had ever been taught; I would make the virus
lie dormant until Jareth typed the "magic words". What are those magic words?
Well, the next person who helps Jareth would have to find out...
I sat back and waited for Jareth's return with my disk, which was in all
essense completely ineffective against viruses and was a Tamagothi program I
downloaded off the web.....[NEXT!]
------------------------------------------------
**Angel of Labyrinthine Night**
"I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to SIN
Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been"
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Serena12@webtv.net (Serena)
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 18:23:35 -0500
Jareth got back with the virus program disk and
Angel put it in. She loaded it up and said," That should do it.
Allright, send me home NOW!" So Jareth sent her home and then about 20
minutes later, I hear "SERENA!" I need your help, " I......" "I know, I
know. You want my help to fix your computer right?" I said. "Yes, he
said. So Jareth, and I went back to his computer room, and again he
shooed the goblins away. I got down to work. After three hours, I found
out that the magic words were Down in the Underground. I fixed the
virus, but couldn't figure out how to get the Tomagotchi program off the
computer. I spent another hour trying. I sent Jareth out of the room to
get me some tea, and then I "worked" on his e-mail. He came back with
the tea. I drank it and then asked him to send me home. He did.
Next.....
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: "Jennifer Austin" <dot9180@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 16:39:23 PDT
(after Angel- I don't know if this will collide with another post, but
I'm all for this one.. :) My first contribution since I resubbed (my
second total, and the first is about Jareth and computers, too... Hm...)
Anyway, please comment- I'm still new at this.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
A strange rustling noise outside Kiti's window alerted her to the fact
that something was afoot.
"We don't get raccoons here.." she thought, then sighed deeply when the
lights went out and the computer screen blinked off.
"Jareth! Get the bloody lights back *on*. We are in the basement, the
window is 1 foot by 3, and you aren't going to get any dramatic
backlighting from a new moon." She waited, and a single light came on-
her computer was booting back up, and the familiar eerie glow from the
screen illuminated His Royal Pain in the...
"I suppose you know why I'm here." He said calmly, but Kiti could tell
he was *not* in a happy mood.
"Oh, get off it. Why in the name of the gods did you come to *me*? As
you recall, the last time you came, you were giving me help with *my*
computer." (Yes, Ladies and Gents, that was a shameless plug for my
other story. see end of message for more information- we now return to
the scheduled story.)
Jareth looked irritated. He was opening his mouth to say something
almost certainly unpleasant when Kiti countered with a brilliant plan.
"You can bring anyone you want to the Underground, correct?"
He was not getting happier with her interruption. "No. They have to say
the proper words." He thought he'd averted whatever scheme she had in
mind. Schmuck.
"Kitty didn't ask to be taken, and neither did Angel, so try again.
Anyway, I had a great idea- Why, Jareth, I didn't know you could make a
face like that! Let's just get my camera, and.."
He threw up his hands, "Okay! Tell me your idea."
She pouted. "Not till you ask nicely." She noticed the fire in his eye,
saw his fingers twitching as though they wanted to do something
involving a crystal, and hastily continued. "Uh.. anyway. You need
someone to fix Windows, right? Well, go to the source."
He lost some of the glower. "Who?"
"No one would miss Bill Gates if he were gone for an hour or two.." Most
wouldn't miss him if he were gone forever, she though to herself with
disgust.
He brightened. "Excellent idea, I'm glad I thought of it." He silenced
her halfhearted protest with a gesture and continued. "Of course, I
would need a little assistance getting him. You would have to help, of
course."
"What?! Look, I came up with that idea, I don't have to help any more!"
Now she was glowering.
"Yes, I think you'll do nicely. Come." And with that, all was quiet.
*************
"Mr. Gates? I have those hostile takeover sheets you needed." Gates
looked up from a stack of paper to see the his assistant entering.
"Thank you, set them there." He indicated a file cabinet and went back
to examining a sheet.
"Sir? The girl you sent for is here to interview you for the college
paper."
"Who?"
"You wanted your public image to look better, so you sent for a college
interview."
Gates nodded. "Right. Send her in in a moment." The assistant left and
soon a young businesslike woman entered, looking nervous.
"Mr. Gates? I'm here for the University of Washington interview you
granted." She looked around, seeming to expect something to happen.
"Ah, yes. Welcome! Pull up a chair, and begin the interview. I believe
you're a business major, so you know that 'Time is Money.'" He smiled
an oily smile. (gee, do I like Gates?)
Kiti cursed Jareth inwardly. "Bringing me into this like he's the king
of the world.. Blasted..."
"Yes, Mr. Gates, first I'd like to thank you for this interview" that
Jareth set up, she added silently.
"It's my pleasure. Now, what would you like to know?"
She drudged up every fact she could think of on the slimeball. "Okay,
what is the most satisfying thing about your job," besides becoming the
biggest monopoly holder since the days when they made laws against
people like you...
The interview continued for a minute, then finally the lights went out,
and Jareth flew in in owl form.
"Finally!" Kiti said sarcastically. "Did you need time to do your hair
or something?"
Gates looked flabbergasted. "What is going on here?"
Jareth sighed.. "What idiots I have to work with.." he thought, and
transported them all to the computer room.
After Gates picked up his jaw, he turned to Jareth and tried to speak.
Jareth cut him off, however. "You are here to fix the program you
designed. You have thirteen hours to do so before you become one of
us.. Forever!" Then he transported himself and Kitiara to her room.
"Farewell, and thank you for your assistance," he said, expecting a
tirade from one of the more sarcastic Listians.
Turning, however, he found her giggling, nearly on the point of
hysterics. She managed to get a few words out: "Gates..a.GOBLIN!!" She
fell over from laughing. "I can't wait to see how *this* turns out.."
she thought...
*************
Whaddya think? Email me at dot9180@hotmail.com, and check out my other
story on Amethyst's page:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/1987/labfic.htm :)
Kitiara
|----------------------------------------------------------|
| Jennifer Austin | "The only true beauty is the |
| dot9180@hotmail.com | beauty of the soul." -Anonymous |
|----------------------- |
| "The soul is dead that slumbers" |
| -Longfellow, "A Psalm of Life" |
|----------------------------------------------------------|
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Seona Bellamy <seonab@netguru.com.au>
Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 12:36:46 +1000
Jennifer Austin wrote:
> "Farewell, and thank you for your assistance," he said, expecting a
> tirade from one of the more sarcastic Listians.
>
> Turning, however, he found her giggling, nearly on the point of
> hysterics. She managed to get a few words out: "Gates..a.GOBLIN!!" She
> fell over from laughing. "I can't wait to see how *this* turns out.."
> she thought...
>
It was late. Techincally, Seona should have been in bed. But, as always, she
was sitting illuminated by the dim glow of her computer screen. Everyone
else in the house was asleep, and she didn't dare put the radio on and alert
her parents to the fact that she was awake at such a god-forsaken hour of
the morning. The house was eerily silent.
That was why she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a had brush her
hair.
Turning around with apologies for still being up on the tip of her tongue,
Seona found herself face to face with the Goblin King. (Face to chest
actually, but anyway...) Sighing, Seona tilted her head back to see his
face. He wasn't smiling. She snorted quietly. "Know the feeling," she
muttered. Then, in a loud stage whisper, "Gates stuff up?"
Jareth rolled his eyes. "Ah, of course. You Listians do keep each other so
well informed. Yes, Gates is now one of my minions. And I require help.
Still. I've seen the work you do at that school-place, helping people who's
computer's aren't working. What did they call you? Guru or something, wasn't
it?" Seona nodded, grinning. Jreath grinned too. "Good."
Before she knew what was happening, Seona was in a small dimly lit room with
Jareth, a computer, and... A small sad goblin with glasses was sitting on
teh deskchair, playing absently with the mouse. Seona grinned. How fitting.
She picked him up and deposited him firmly outside the door, closing it.
Jareth smiled approvingly. Seona sta down at the computer, bringing up the
directory listing. She sighed as it refused to acknowledge any of the
drives, then called up the list of drive port assignments. They were all
conflicting. She sighed again, louder.
Jareth looked over her shoulder, puzzled. "Are you having trouble
breathing?" She waved him away impatiently as she set about reassigning the
drives.
After a few minutes she turned to him. "If you'd given me half a chance
before you brought me here, I'd have been able to bring my med-kit. Would
you get it for me?" she asked sweetly. "It's a small black box on my desk
with a stack of disks in it." Jareth nodded and disappeared. Seona grinned.
She was going to fix his computer, but not without playing a little trick on
him to make up for all the bother.
It was a simple program. When activated, and key pressed would bring up a
window asking if you wanted to format the hard drive. No matter whether you
pressed N or Y, it would tell you you had pressed Y, then spin the hard
drive for five minutes before telling you that the operation was complete.
Any attempt after this to look at the directory would bring up a "file not
found" error. The program could be disabled by simply rebooting the
computer, but she figured Jareth would be too stressed to think of this.
Her musings were cut short by Jareth's reappearance with her "med-kit". She
started to install virus protection, then showed him how to use it. She set
up a batch file that would run the scandisk automatically every time he
turned the computer on and run the defragmenter every week. She showed him
how to access files off the hard disk and off floppy disks, leaving him with
a few blanks to get him started. She helped him set up his desktop with
shortcuts to porgrams he thought he'd need most, and showed him how to add
new things himself. She installed and set up the Labyrinth desktop theme,
but quickly removed it when he threatened to turn her into a goblin right
then and there. Finally, she set up the joke program and activated it, then
asked to be taken home.
After all the work she'd put in, Jareth was pleased enough to grant her
request. A moment later they appeared in Seona's bedroom again. "I really am
grateful," he whispered. "I promise I won't forget it." With that he stepped
back and disappeared.
Seona grinned to herself. No, she was sure he wouldnt forget it.
-------------------------
Just an aside, that program does actually exist (or did). I had a DOS
version of it and found out how to make my mother swear. :-)
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Katrina the Goblin Girl <goldberg@txdirect.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 22:18:12 -0700
I was working on my third story in my series on Microsoft Word when the
power blew. I peeked outside: not a cloud in the sky and no moon. a
white owl banged against the window. This could only mean one thing.
"Jareth, I am not impressed," I said, opening the window. "You
want to impress me? Show up without any makeup."
He flew in and morphed, Regarding me with a cold stare, he said,
"My dear Katrina, are you implying that I wear too MUCH makeup?"
"Maybe." I answered coolly. If handled properly, Jareth was easy
to deal with. His face was turning an amusing shade of crimson. "So, what
do you want?"
Jareth growled, then muttered, "This from the girl who writes in
her fanfic that she was a slave in MY kitchen? I would think that you
should be more respectful, or I shall be forced to do something
despicable to your hard drive."
My eyes widened. "Since when do YOU know any term for computer
hardware?"
"Since I have been coached by Kitty and a few others...Bill Gates
is helping out with destroying a virus that Kitty..." he scowled, "...so
generously bestowed upon me."
My sides were splitting.
"Bill--HAHAHAHAH!!!!!--Ga--gates...HOHEEHEHAHOO--in the UNDERGROUND?!?!"
"He has thirteen hours to exterminate the virus before he becomes
one of us forever." Jareth regarded me grimly. He obviously wanted me to
stop convulsing with laughter, so I rubbed my eyes and tried to cease.
"So..hooha...what do you--heh--want with me when you've
got...hahaha!...Bill G-gates?"
"Come and I will show you."
"Wait a moment Jareth. I have no desire to go to your
god-forsaken...Damn!" It was too late. I was already in his computer
room. A pale man sat at the computer clicking at the computer. Bill
Gates.
"Help him," Jareth commanded.
"Help...Jareth, you do realize that I know only the essentials
about computers? I can point, click, type, and download...and play You
Don't Know Jack...but that's about it. This man has made BILLIONS of
dollars programming software and such. He dropped out of COLLEGE to do
that. I know absolute bupkus about computers."
"Then you can watch and learn," he said loftily. "Mind you, Kat,"
he continued...
"My....name...is...Katrina!!!!! Only my brother can call me KAT!"
"whatever. Mind you, it's about time you knew how to properly
handle these things. Perhaps he would be willing to give you a private
lesson. I might send a few more listians and make it a class."
"You're one to talk about computer knowledge...Ugh." I said in
disgust at him as he walked out and morphed into an owl, ISO more
listians.
I walked up to Bill and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hi, I'm--"
"Shhh!" he said sharply. "Do not distract me. I must be one with
the computer...Ommmmmmmmmmm....."
*This is gonna be a LONG thirteen hours unless somebody shows up
to pass the time..* I thought im dismay.
Jennifer Austin wrote:
>
> (after Angel- I don't know if this will collide with another post, but
> I'm all for this one.. :) My first contribution since I resubbed (my
> second total, and the first is about Jareth and computers, too... Hm...)
> Anyway, please comment- I'm still new at this.
> * * * * * * * * * * * * *
> A strange rustling noise outside Kiti's window alerted her to the fact
> that something was afoot.
> "We don't get raccoons here.." she thought, then sighed deeply when the
> lights went out and the computer screen blinked off.
>
> "Jareth! Get the bloody lights back *on*. We are in the basement, the
> window is 1 foot by 3, and you aren't going to get any dramatic
> backlighting from a new moon." She waited, and a single light came on-
> her computer was booting back up, and the familiar eerie glow from the
> screen illuminated His Royal Pain in the...
>
> "I suppose you know why I'm here." He said calmly, but Kiti could tell
> he was *not* in a happy mood.
>
> "Oh, get off it. Why in the name of the gods did you come to *me*? As
> you recall, the last time you came, you were giving me help with *my*
> computer." (Yes, Ladies and Gents, that was a shameless plug for my
> other story. see end of message for more information- we now return to
> the scheduled story.)
>
> Jareth looked irritated. He was opening his mouth to say something
> almost certainly unpleasant when Kiti countered with a brilliant plan.
> "You can bring anyone you want to the Underground, correct?"
>
> He was not getting happier with her interruption. "No. They have to say
> the proper words." He thought he'd averted whatever scheme she had in
> mind. Schmuck.
>
> "Kitty didn't ask to be taken, and neither did Angel, so try again.
> Anyway, I had a great idea- Why, Jareth, I didn't know you could make a
> face like that! Let's just get my camera, and.."
>
> He threw up his hands, "Okay! Tell me your idea."
>
> She pouted. "Not till you ask nicely." She noticed the fire in his eye,
> saw his fingers twitching as though they wanted to do something
> involving a crystal, and hastily continued. "Uh.. anyway. You need
> someone to fix Windows, right? Well, go to the source."
>
> He lost some of the glower. "Who?"
>
> "No one would miss Bill Gates if he were gone for an hour or two.." Most
> wouldn't miss him if he were gone forever, she though to herself with
> disgust.
>
> He brightened. "Excellent idea, I'm glad I thought of it." He silenced
> her halfhearted protest with a gesture and continued. "Of course, I
> would need a little assistance getting him. You would have to help, of
> course."
>
> "What?! Look, I came up with that idea, I don't have to help any more!"
> Now she was glowering.
>
> "Yes, I think you'll do nicely. Come." And with that, all was quiet.
>
> *************
> "Mr. Gates? I have those hostile takeover sheets you needed." Gates
> looked up from a stack of paper to see the his assistant entering.
>
> "Thank you, set them there." He indicated a file cabinet and went back
> to examining a sheet.
>
> "Sir? The girl you sent for is here to interview you for the college
> paper."
>
> "Who?"
>
> "You wanted your public image to look better, so you sent for a college
> interview."
>
> Gates nodded. "Right. Send her in in a moment." The assistant left and
> soon a young businesslike woman entered, looking nervous.
>
> "Mr. Gates? I'm here for the University of Washington interview you
> granted." She looked around, seeming to expect something to happen.
>
> "Ah, yes. Welcome! Pull up a chair, and begin the interview. I believe
> you're a business major, so you know that 'Time is Money.'" He smiled
> an oily smile. (gee, do I like Gates?)
>
> Kiti cursed Jareth inwardly. "Bringing me into this like he's the king
> of the world.. Blasted..."
> "Yes, Mr. Gates, first I'd like to thank you for this interview" that
> Jareth set up, she added silently.
>
> "It's my pleasure. Now, what would you like to know?"
>
> She drudged up every fact she could think of on the slimeball. "Okay,
> what is the most satisfying thing about your job," besides becoming the
> biggest monopoly holder since the days when they made laws against
> people like you...
>
> The interview continued for a minute, then finally the lights went out,
> and Jareth flew in in owl form.
> "Finally!" Kiti said sarcastically. "Did you need time to do your hair
> or something?"
>
> Gates looked flabbergasted. "What is going on here?"
>
> Jareth sighed.. "What idiots I have to work with.." he thought, and
> transported them all to the computer room.
>
> After Gates picked up his jaw, he turned to Jareth and tried to speak.
> Jareth cut him off, however. "You are here to fix the program you
> designed. You have thirteen hours to do so before you become one of
> us.. Forever!" Then he transported himself and Kitiara to her room.
>
> "Farewell, and thank you for your assistance," he said, expecting a
> tirade from one of the more sarcastic Listians.
>
> Turning, however, he found her giggling, nearly on the point of
> hysterics. She managed to get a few words out: "Gates..a.GOBLIN!!" She
> fell over from laughing. "I can't wait to see how *this* turns out.."
> she thought...
>
> *************
>
> Whaddya think? Email me at dot9180@hotmail.com, and check out my other
> story on Amethyst's page:
> http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/1987/labfic.htm :)
>
> Kitiara
>
> |----------------------------------------------------------|
> | Jennifer Austin | "The only true beauty is the |
> | dot9180@hotmail.com | beauty of the soul." -Anonymous |
> |----------------------- |
> | "The soul is dead that slumbers" |
> | -Longfellow, "A Psalm of Life" |
> |----------------------------------------------------------|
>
> ______________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: "The Goblin Princess" <littleprincess84@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 21:05:48 PDT
Note: This may interfere with another post, but I couldn't pass up the=20
opprtunity to cause problems for L'Oreal's biggest customer.
*******************************************************
Afton was sitting at her computer finishing a chapter of one of her=20
numerous ongoing fan fictions when a sudden bolt of lightning lit the=20
sky, and the French doors of the computer room blew open. Amidst a cloud=20
of glitter, Jareth morphed to his regular form to stand beside her.=20
"Has it ever occurred to you to use the front door? Maybe even knock and=20
walk in?"=20
Jareth frowned, "I require your assistance."
"No way. First of all, I'm exhausted from dancing in the Faery court,=20
and second: I wouldn't help you for a date with Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise,=20
or Matt Damon, or even all three."
He shrugged. "Too bad."
Before she could blink, she found herself in a small room with only a=20
torch, a computer, and a sad blue goblin with glasses. "I hate it when=20
you do that Jareth. What do you want?"
"Well=85"
"You're sick. What do you need help with?"
"I can think=85"
"JARETH!!!"
"This damn thing is asking me to reformat the hard drive. And it=20
wouldn't take no for an answer."
Well, the computer and you should get along just fine, then," she said=20
under her breath.
"What was that?"
"Have you tried rebooting it?"
"You mean I need to kick it again?"
Afton sighed, then smiled sweetly, her mind planning. "I will take a=20
while. Would you please get me some peach tea so I can work on it?"
The Goblin King disappeared, leaving a glitter trail.
Coughing glitter, the girl drop kicked the blue goblin out of her way.=20
"You know bill, you make a better Goblin. You're cute enough to make an=20
ideal birthday present for Titannia=85" The goblin scurried to the other=20
end of the room, and sat whimpering in a corner.
Afton grinned, rebooting the computer. A Jarethian look came into her=20
eyes as she began downloading the Labyrinth desktop theme and locked it=20
into place. She made sure that any attempt to change it resulted in a=20
'fatal error', or a Windows lock-up, though any person who had any=20
knowledge of the computer could fix the problem. She pulled a CD Rom=20
from her jacket, ready to make further alterations.
Unfortunately, Jareth chose that time to appear with the tea. She=20
accepted the small glass of wonderful drink, slipping the CD under the=20
keyboard. The next listian to be summoned might find it useful=85
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: [labyfic] Windows Underground - Xarael's segment
From: Artemis148@aol.com
Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 00:12:52 EDT
This might collide with a few other round robin posts but, well, so be it.
Do forgive me.
*************
The screen glowed before me, a soft, warming glow in the darkness of the
night. The words blinked onto the screen, seemingly harmless letters, gentle
colors. It was a generally soothing atmosphere, really.
Or, at least, it would have been had the words blinking on the soft colors of
the screen not been "Fatal Error: Program Aborted."
Damn it.
I proceeded, for the next five minutes or so, to rant about the idiocy of the
pointers, the language C, programming, and, at last, computers in general. It
was a nice emotional outburst as violent spewing fits of rage went.
Unfortunately, it seemed to accomplish rather little as far as coercing my
computer into doing something useful went.
All right. I could be sane and rational. And get my computer to cease
displaying that terribly disconcerting message. Really.
However, before this could happen, another violent spewing fit of rage
presented itself and I raised one impassioned hand to smash down on the poor
defenseless keyboard.
The aformentioned hand was restrained by a black gloved one. The accompanying
voice was condescending, smug, and spiced liberally with patronizing
amusement.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
I looked at this gloved hand intently. Took a deep breath, closed my eyes.
Tried again.
It was still there when I reopened my eyes. Very solid, as well. The
keyboard was safe for the time being.
I addressed the disembodied hand in my characteristic fashion. "Is there a
particular interest you have in my keyboard or were you were simply capturing
my attention in a novel and inventive manner?"
Warm breath near my ear, hard press of a hand just above my neck. "My dear
little writer, I have so many other," chill-enducing touch along my jaw,
"methods," mouth so close, "for capturing your attention."
I gathered the fragments of my poise and turned to face the source of this
suggestive voice. "Listen, my wonderful inspiring Goblin King, might we skip
the witty banter for now?"
"We might." The words were colored with hidden laughter. Lovely. He would
pick now to be particular about exact meanings of words.
I drew a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. "All right, WILL we skip the
witty banter for now?"
"Perhaps."
I directed my weary and battleworn gaze at him. It was bordering on irritated
glare, actually. Imagine that. "I was rather planning on exacting my revenge
on this idiot computer so if you would kindly tell me the cause of your
visit....?"
"Such sarcasm, my little writer."
"And this is a surprise why exactly?"
My chin was forced up suddenly. "I have been generous, up until now-"
"-and you can be cruel, yes yes, good good. Really, I know they're excellent
dramatic lines but come now - a little originality, if you please. You
possess a sparkling, wicked wit. Use it."
Blue eyes pierced mine, measuring. "So terribly sure of yourself, my little
thinker."
"What, I'm not your 'little writer' anymore?" I clutched my hand to my chest
in mock horror. "Oh dear, the absolute tragedy of it. And how will I ever
live up to such an astounding title as 'little thinker'?"
The wicked smile surfaced. "Oh, but I'm sure you can. Let us start, perhaps,
in the realm of computers."
I stared at him for a good twenty seconds. Remembered to breathe. Stared for
another minute. Started to feel faint and remembered to breathe again.
Attempted to form a coherent thought. Failed. Felt the hysteria rising. And
then I laughed. Hard and loud and long. Into his lovely amused face which
was becoming slightly less amused as the seconds passed. "You want...that
post about Windows 95...but that was....and this is...and you
have...underground...and you think I can..." The hysterical laughter consumed
me for another minute.
The eyes staring into mine had darkened noticeably. Such a pity.
The laughter began to subside and a hiccup or two sputtered out before I could
form words. "My dear dear Goblin King, I can barely program, let alone hack
into your virus riddled computer and repair the inevitable damage wrought by
the work of the listians." I regarded him with my most sincere look plastered
across my face. "Though I do appreciate the confidence you have in my
skills."
The smile resurfaced. "And you do have so many."
My pulse quickened without my express consent. And a good deal of blood
rushed upwards to take up residence in my cheeks. "I thought we were skipping
the witty banter."
"That was a conditional response, if I recall." The hand rested lightly on my
shoulder. Just a hint of an invitation.
I ignored it. Pointedly. "Fine. I can't fix your computer - are we finished
then?"
"Perhaps."
I looked to the ceiling again. It was becoming a regular refuge. "Of course.
Well, if you're bent on staying here, I'm going to continue on as planned.
Which would involve pounding the keyboard in frustration. And then toying
around with these damnable pointers so they don't wreak havoc with my poor
hard drive. Now, if you wouldn't mind...?" I glanced at his gloved hands.
And then noticed his eyes. A very alarming sort of light had filled them. It
had the look of a devilish plan to it. "So you would like me to go, hmmm?"
My voice was calm, modulated. "Not that I don't enjoy your condescending
company, but yes."
I blinked and he was gone. A very impressive disappearing act - nice, simple,
and efficient without being flashy. Very impressive, indeed.
I turned back to the monitor and took comfort from the familiar soothing
colors.
This, of course, was before I noticed that the words had changed. No more
"Fatal Error: Program Aborted." Oh no no no. It had now metamorphosized into
a full blown message: "Fatal System Error. Hard Drive Corrupted." And then,
at the bottom of the screen, in a lovely little scroll. "My little thinker,
I've brought you a gift."
The words echoed softly into the air around me, amused as hell. "Such a
pity."
I called out to him - because he surely wouldn't leave until after he had
observed my complete reaction to his little present.
"Share and share alike.....that's certainly you, Jareth. And what did I tell
you about threadbare lines?"
Soft laughter filled the room.
And then all was silent. His presence was most certainly gone.
Damnable man.
I silently swore a few other things, mostly unprintable, and then murmured,
"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little hard drive, too...I have friends in
strategic computer places.....and you're connected to the Net, baby."
Revenge. Gotta love it.
**************************
Xarael called Jalen
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Andi Beard <ab232197@oak.cats.ohiou.edu>
Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 11:34:31 -0400 (EDT)
MadMarian paused, fingers frozen, hovering barely an inch above
the keyboard. She cocked her head, listening. Something had changed.
She started to turn around when the lights went out.
She sat, silent, in the dark for a moment, wondering why, if the
electricity was off, her computer screen still glowed merrily, her
half-finished e-mail to her sister sitting there on the desktop, waiting
expectantly for her fingers to resume their typing.
Something odd, yes...
She heard a rustle then from the corner of the room, and the
greenish glow of the monitor illuminated a brilliantly pale face that she
knew so well.
"Oh, it's you," she sighed. "Should have known."
Jareth only crossed his arms and looked smugly at her, in the way
only he could.
MadMarian turned back to the computer screen. "Thanks for not
sneaking up on me this time," she remarked over her shoulder, desperately
playing it cool and hoping Jareth wouldn't realize how much he'd actually
frightened her when he had materialized from the dark like some
overdressed, overteased wraith.
Suddenly, he stood behind her, leaning down over her shoulder.
"Come, come, MadMarian, aren't you the least bit curious as to why I've
come?" he whispered like silk into her ear.
"You better watch it," she snapped, turning to face him then
thinking the better of it and looking back at the monitor resolutely. "My
husband's in the living room, and I'm sure you don't want a repeat of what
happened that other time you visited me uninvited..."
Instantly the lights were back on and Jareth was standing by the
bookcase, admiring Buck's collection of Babylon 5 MicroMachines. "Er,
well, I know you're very busy so I'll get right to the point--"
"Yes, yes, I know," MadMarian said with a grin. "Your computer's
acting up. I *do* still read my mail, even if I don't post very often."
She leaned back and put her hands behind her head, enjoying the Goblin
King's hour of need very much.
He turned with a most sickly sweet smile and held out his
black-gloved hands appealingly. "So you do understand my dilemma.
Wonderful. I knew I could count on you, my dear."
"Can it, Hotpants," she snapped, turning primly back to her
computer. "Save your oily scams for someone else. I'm not the one to
help you with this one." She began typing furiously, eyelids lowered
contemptuously, totally unaware of what gibberish she might be keying into
her sister's e-mail message and not really caring. What could Jareth do
to her anyway? Foist another sloth upon her? She had ways of making sure
any unwanted packages (so to speak) found their way back to the
Underground where they belonged...
Suddenly, where her Eudora e-mail window had been, there was only
the image of a spinning crystal. MadMarian hit keys randomly, clicked the
mouse, even tried to force quit and warm boot, but nothing happened. Only
the infernal spinning crystal.
"Don't defy me," Jareth said softly, menacingly.
She whirled upon him. "You really can't take no for an answer,
can you?"
He only smirked in reply. "I usually don't have to."
"You know what your problem is?" she snapped, advancing upon the
pale king furiously and pointing her finger at him. "You are a control
freak," she said, enunciating the words with cold precision. "You really
ought to see a therapist about that."
Jareth frowned. "Me?! A therapist! My dear, that is utterly
absurd. I'm no...control freak...I can let go anytime I wish, really...I
just...I have an image to protect! Really, therapy. Bah! It's absurd!
The very notion..."
MadMarian gave him her own smirk. "I'm telling ya, Jareth,
therapy works wonders..." His eyes narrowed dangerously, so she quickly
plowed on. "But that's irrelevant. What is relevant is that I know
nothing about computers that could be of help to you."
"As you humans so quaintly say--bull. I happen to know that you
once worked as the overseer of an entire computer laboratory at one of
those schools you worked at in...what is it called? Tennis Elbow?"
"Tennessee."
"Ah." The king strode about the room, swirling his cape
magnificently behind him as he turned. "In fact, you have often bragged
about your ability to...troubleshoot? those computers and fix their
problems on the spot, is this not so?"
MadMarian bit her lip. "Have you been spying on me again? And
how did you know about that job? I wasn't even on the list then!" A
shock of recognition hit her then. "Oh, you saw my resume. You went to
that crappy little web site I had to do for a class! Oh, how
embarrassing!" She sat down in the chair and fiddle nervously with the
mouse. "I knew I should have made up a fake resume..."
Jareth leaned over her again, with that mocking half-grin on his
perfect face.
"So, now that we've established your proficiency with computers,
shall we be off?" And he raised a hand as if to whisk her magically away.
She cut him off. "You don't understand,
your...ahem...majesty...those were Macintosh computers, not IBMs."
Jareth stared blankly. "And?"
MadMarian sighed and rolled her eyes skyward. "They're different.
Macs are easier to fix, if you know what they're all about. I know
nothing about IBMs--Zip! Nada! Zilch! I can't be of any help to you!
Got it? I'm clueless, worthless, hopele--"
Jareth raised his hands to his temples and grimaced. "Yes,
yes, I understand...Curse the gods." He straightened and sighed. "Fine.
I'll be off to find someone more...competent to do the job."
MadMarian stuck her tongue out at him. "Grumpy ol' King...don't
blame me. Oh, and could you--" She nodded significantly toward her
spinning-crystal monitor.
"Oh, yes," Jareth sighed and with a mere flick of his wrist, the
screen was back to normal.
MadMarian turned back to her e-mail just as the king vanished, but
couldn't resist one last call over her shoulder. "Should have bought a
Mac, Jareth my dear...shoulda bought a Mac."
%%%%%%%%%
I know, I know--but I couldn't resist! ;)
MadMarian the MacAddict
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: Re: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Dreamin122@aol.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 1998 00:07:15 EDT
:-) Everyone else has written such good additions. Now, it's my turn. Just
a little IM conversation between me and our dear Goblin King.
Instant Message From GBLNKNG
GBLNKNG: Good evening, my dear Dreamin'.
After what I had read about Jareth's new computer and its problems, an Instant
Message from him was the last thing I expected.
Dreamin122: Hi, J. I'm surprised to hear from you.
GBLNKNG: And why is that?
Dreamin122: I heard through the mailing list that you got a new computer, but
that it was down.
GBLNKNG: It is. I'm using a library computer at the moment.
*I swear, the guy must spend more time in a library than I do. And he isn't
even a student.*
Dreamin122: Isn't it kind of late for a library to be open?
GBLNKNG: Who said the library was open?
*Typical Jareth.* I had learned that the guy simply can't do things the same
way everyone else does.
Dreamin122: So, why are you IMing me?
GBLNKNG: I need your help. I know so little about computers.
*I don't believe this! Jareth is actually admitting that he doesn't know
everything?* I was intrigued.
Dreamin122: Sorry, J, but I don't know much about computers. I know how to
work them, that's all. Why don't you ask the Listians? I'm sure one of them
can help you.
GBLNKNG: I've asked several Listians. A few of them gave my computer viruses.
That kind of help I don't need.
*Poor Jareth.* I could just imagine the kind of viruses the other Listians
had given him.
Dreamin122: ROTFL
GBLNKNG: It's not funny.
Dreamin122: I'm sorry, J. You're right, it's not funny. LOL
GBLNKNG: If that's the way you're going to be, then I'll just find someone
else.
*I swear, he can be such a baby sometimes.*
Dreamin122: Well, why don't you just get Bill Gates to help you?
GBLNKNG: I tried that.
Dreamin122: And?
GBLNKNG: Bill Gates is now a strange-looking goblin with glasses.
The mere thought of Bill Gates as a goblin had me giggling hysterically.
Dreamin122: ROTFL J, you are too much.
GBLNKNG: I know.
*So strange how even an IM from him can sound smug.*
Dreamin122: I'm sorry, J, but there's nothing I can do to help you.
GBLNKNG: Perfectly alright, my dear. Can you think of anyone who can help me?
Dreamin122: Think, think, think. Well, your best bet seems to be another
Listian.
GBLNKNG: I don't need another virus, Dreamin'.
Dreamin122: J, I'm sure there's a more computer-literate Listian out there
that is willing to help you. You haven't upset all of them, have you?
GBLNKNG: I hope not.
I sighed. Jareth can be really gracious, when he wants to be. Unfortunately,
that's not very often.
Dreamin122: You know, J, you really do need to work on your people skills.
GBLNKNG: It's hardly worth the effort sometimes. You're one of the few people
that I can be really comfortable with.
Dreamin122: :-) Thanks, J.
GBLNKNG: You're welcome. I think I will try to find another Listian to help
me.
Dreamin122: Good luck, J.
I know, I know, it's total fluff, but I had fun writing it. Can't ask for
more than that.
Dreamin'
========
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com
Subject: [labyfic] Windows Underground
From: Dreamspinner@twilightrealm.com
Date: Thu, 18 Jun 1998 16:29:16 -0500
Everyone has written great RR's for this- soooooo....here's just a leetle
something.....
"Open a new Window" ;-)!!!
The computer room was so much hotter than the rest of the house, and I was getting
sick of the heat. The air conditioner was doing its best, but I still wished it
would get cooler. Sitting in my leather executive chair(okay- so it's a home
office), I wrestled with the large beach towel which refused to stay on the back
of the chair- it kept falling down and annoying the crap out of me.
After the fiftieth time, I heard the muffled laughter accompanied by, "Dream?"
I turned around with a nasty expression on my face, thinking about how Jareth
would look as an ostrich.
Sensing my foul mood, he stepped back a few feet and held up his hands in
supplication, "Please- don't. I've been through enough today with my computer. I'm
sure you've read the other accounts. I really don't need to be an ostrich at this
moment."
"Humph. You remind me one enough as it is already." I growled then turned back
around to face the screen. The darn towel fell again. I cursed, but before I could
put the traitorous thing back, Jareth had it and gently smoothed it over the back
of the chair, then leaned over it to regard me.
"You really should calm down and relax. I know! If you aren't focused on your
problems, you'll be much happier!" he said smiling too sweetly.
"So you want me to focus on yours? I could retire off of the money I'd make on
your case alone." I smiled a predatory smile. He looked hurt and fiddled with the
edge of the towel. I sighed. "Okay, what exactly is the problem- with your
computer!" I added as he moved too close.
"Why don't you have a couch in here?" he purred and left many unspoken but
mentally audible suggestions floating in what he thought was a sensuous cloud
about him," You should....I mean..think of the stereotypical shrink..." he stopped
as he watched my face darken with a fury no mortal has ever seen. I delivered a
nice bone-jarring slap right across his face, leaving him too stunned to move.
"You needed that *desperately*. I'll send you a bill. Now- as for your
*computer*..."
After countless attempts and a great deal of troubleshooting, we managed to get
the thing to function appropriately. The nice salesperson admitted to leaving a
few things out of 'the packaged deal' when we held his feet to the fire(literally.
Don't mess with anything Faerie), so we were able to get the missing hardware
installed. My husband Gwydion looked over our work and blessed it, nodding grimly
over Jareth's stories of the many problems encountered with the 'darned mortal
contraption'. Gwydion then offered Jareth a nice box of anti-virus software and
told him how to install it(actually where he could put it, but the interpretation
will be left to the reader). After all was said and done, we wordlessly cast
Jareth back to his plane of existence and barred the entranceway to my Realm with
our own version of anti-virus software.
=D!
I wish you dreams of joy...
*Dreamspinner*